Engaging Myself!!!

Simple pleasures!

2011-10-24T09:06:00.001-07:00

Isn’t it lovely to see a card and a gift on your desk when you come in on a Monday morning to work! Especially if that is a complete surprise and you have no clue who is it from until you open the card. This was what I got this Monday morning and hence I called this week a good week. One of my colleagues has taken the care to please me for one of my small achievements this way. And the initial days of the week were good – loads of compliments for multiple reasons, recognition for good work and of course good work life balance….and a happy Tak at home too….Touchwood!

Is that what you call ego?

2011-07-21T09:01:00.000-07:00

My little one who is not two yet was fiddling around with TV remote last night and he couldn’t get what he wanted. Then I said, ‘Tak, you cannot do it, let me do it for you’. Then he passes the remote to you with an impeccant smile saying, ‘Amma big Tak schmaall’ and watched carefully how I did it. I was actually impressed, how much these little heads discover and process in there, and they are simply genius at application stage. I thought Tak was just learning to speak random words in two different languages, never knew he is up and ready to apply them depending on the contexts.

Well, here if you look at this one you can even see they even develop an ego at this early age. ‘Amma can do it because Amma is big, I cannot do it because I am small’. Haha, but here it was simply cute.

Getting adapted

2011-07-06T06:17:00.000-07:00

Getting adapted forcefully to something/someone is not a pleasurable experience. Even though the outcome is one of the finest things you can think about. My little boy is going through the interim period of getting adapted to a childcare setting. Having been enjoying in the pampered and protective hands of grand parents while his parents are at work, this little sweetheart thought there isn’t another world. Now that it is time for him to set off with some childcare setting, he is hesitant in a very strong way. Even for the slight mention of his childminder he says ‘nana’ and is just not bothered to go. Once you leave him, there is this heartbreaking sight where you can see your little one crying (screaming/shouting/scaring other kids off) for you – ‘Ammaa Ammaaa’. Sometimes it will be more of sobs than tears, starts with screams though!

Sometimes I imagine it is not worth to be a working mother if your baby’s happiness is something else. But then if you look at it in the other side, how long will he be a sticky toffee pudding (I do call him that!) with you. He has to learn the concept of nursery today or tomorrow. Earlier the better I would say. It took him sometime to settle in to a nursery previously when he was much younger. But somehow I thought it would be rather easier this time. But my expectations are not getting met in this case. I know he will get there, but it is this bridging phase that keeps me on my toes (or put me on my emotional rides!). Yes, he has to socialise and learn the concept of sharing, waiting for his turns and of course to engage himself. Don’t get me wrong, he is one of the best sociable kids I have come across and is generally smiles and giggles with everyone. But the case with childminder, he knows his mother is going to run away dropping him off and it is the whole thought of being separated kicks in then. Otherwise he is not too touchy touchy (well, mummy baby relationships are always touchy, but he is not overboard generally).

And it is the whole thought of this separation and may be a little bit of insecurity sentiment too which has had another effect over the last few days – he has got even clingier to me. Can’t blame him, may be I (WE) give him too much attention when we are around. For example, I think it is not bad that my baby sleeps late (that is whenever we sleep!) so that we get that much time to spend with him; and he loves it too. He is not affected much because he gets sleep during the day! He sleeps in his cot through the first good part of his sleep, but comes to us once he wakes up in the middle - poor thing. Every child, parent as well as parenting is different. Again I think it is not bad to have him in your bed once he wakes up in the middle of his sleep. If not now, When? There will be a time they wouldn’t even want to be near you when they sleep, so why miss out now?

I know he will learn! Yes, every change happens for good – for that perfect balance.

Two states

2011-06-20T12:52:00.000-07:00

Two states by Chetan Bhagat is a good entertainer. I am fan of this investment banker turned writer or vice versa; as he puts it he may not be the best writer, but certainly one f the loved writers now. I thoroughly enjoyed five point someone years ago, but one night at call center had put me down. And didn’t bother 3 mistakes of life, and people told me I have not missed much. Well, two states is a work that made me laugh and got me to the state of not putting the book down until I finished it. It is such a simple concept and elegant comedy where you can switch off your brains, sit, read and enjoy. No one needs a dictionary or help as there is not a single English word which is not used in common life. And there are a lot of resemblances (characters, plots, and happenings) which could be related to campus; which is hardly remembered otherwise. Sometimes you do go for those great literary works and you say ‘oh wow what a language, amazing’. But then, I doubt if they would get you to the state of ‘go on’ until you finish the book. I have been trying to read ‘Ignorance’ by Milan Kundera for the past two months. I open and read a couple of pages and I am not getting through. It may be that I get pulled for something else, or I doze off, or I am too tired to concentrate or my lovely Tak snatches the book and runs off! (I may crack it sometime, for example in a train/flight journey when there is no Tak or no connectivity)

Two states got me ‘sit and read’, may be it is just that I don’t get a chance to read much these days in my busy juggling between Tak, work and home apart from those quick glances at daily news, metros and regional highlights; may be just a bit more on some interesting news. But then yesterday was one of the first Sundays in ages when our social calendar was free and I could curl up to my sofa in my night dress until evening when I was forced to take a bath (of course woke up late and I try to train Tak to do so in weekends like this!). And while Tak was helping (!!!) his dad and granddad to do gardening and some DIY stuff at garage I got my space and got on with the book. I took breaks for lunch and snacks, but then Tak did interrupt several times ‘Amma NANA book NANA’. He hates to see his mom doing anything apart from ‘being’ with him when she is at home; and his routine enemies are phone, books, TV, laptop, kitchen and bathroom if his mum is involved! He makes most of me when I am at home, and I hide from him in my study area if I have to work from home. And yesterday, I gave Tak extra bonus to sleep on my lap as long as he wanted as I was comfy with two states in my couch. Of course, I enjoyed both parts!

There are certain things which make you think as well. Yes, life partners can be chosen by you as well as your folks could help out. When you choose it is your circumstances or the opportunities you had got gets you there just like how Krish met Ananya at IITM, same like how Krish had lost someone at IIT. Well, it is a gamble. I was talking to my Mr on this and asked would he be happy if Tak comes with someone of a different community/background. And what we came to a conclusion is that we could only get them in a position to think right, help them develop their personalities and choose the right. Of course, right is what you think right; your folks and circumstances mould you to get there. I am of the kind where I do have strong opinions about people, communities and cultures. You cannot stereotype here I know, but unfortunately in my experience I have met people from different parts of the world and have observed same goods and bads with geographical similarities (Again here, it may be what I define good and bad). Yes, the feeling of Indian is obviously the first (it increases if you live out of India I guess), but then for very personal stuff you still get biased with your regional stuff – South Indian/North Indian. For all, Madrasis seem long way for a Malayali!

It is not that I would be acting like Krish’s mom to Tak if he gets involved in something like that, but then it is different on how you would want things to happen. For all, Tak would not even believe in the concept of marriage (yup, they are the generation next after all). Or I would be shocked to get introduced to my son’s wife – haha! But I hope my son would have the trust and ability to let his parents know his feelings and his decisions - let it be anything friends, girls, future!

“What do you do?”

2011-06-14T13:26:00.001-07:00

Somebody asked me today – “What do you do?” I looked at him with a smile actually thinking how to answer this question. Mr. X repeated “What do you do for living?”
Now there I go “I am a Consultant, IT Consultant”
Mr. X, “Oh so you do computers, ahaa”
Me, “Well, I do but then not everything”
Mr. X, “Do you fix them?”
Me, “No, I don’t. I am not hardware, I am with software”
Mr. X, “Right, so you do program stuff”
Me,” Well, I can… or I have done in the past. But now I don’t. I manage software projects”
Mr. X “Ahaa, so now you tell people to do it!”
Me with a laugh, “I tell people how to do it, and why should they do it, and why business wants them to do it!”
Mr. X, “So that means you tell others to do it and you make others work”
Me, “haa, sometimes…or rather most of the times these days”
Mr. X, “Good, I have no idea of what they do. I just know to email and browse”
Me, “That’s all about it. It is just that those people (and me) help you to do that!”

Sometimes I start off to a random question of ‘what do you do’ answering ‘I am a project manager’. But then people dig down to what, where, how, on what etc. Sometimes I say ‘I am an engineer’. Most of the times with that answer people don’t bother to ask you more.

Lie for no reason

2011-06-08T14:56:00.000-07:00

Why should someone lie for no reason? I wonder why this trend takes place. I have come across a number of folks (family, friends, colleagues, acquaintances) who gets into it. The silliest class is of ones who just merely put a lie even if you don’t ask them for that, and I feel just so annoyed about it. And that just develops into a habit for some of them and they just simply make a clown of themselves. Those lies get easily caught on the spot or a little later; and sometimes just a one off occurrence of lie becomes a lifetime question mark on ones credibility. At least I wouldn’t trust them any longer.

There is a slight difference here where you don’t present an angry face to people you don’t like. In my opinion that cannot be classified as a lie; simply because you just can’t show a fuming face or in fact an uninterested face most of the times to people you dislike or don’t want to be with. You are part of a society and there are many settings which you would not want to break. For example, you can’t do that with your colleagues. Just because you don’t like them you can’t stop talking to them and show an angry face. It upsets the professional settings at work. Likewise everywhere there is a setting to be kept. But it is a different case if you always tag along someone and say ‘I love you/ you are my best friend/ love being with you etc’ when you hate that person. I am sure the concept of inner and outer relationships are maintained by a good majority and so do I. I have been accused earlier during my college days that I maintained too much of outer relationships where I smiled and talked to people I was not very happy with. But then that was simply because I didn’t want to upset the settings and be anti-social ‘I will not talk to you/I hate you/ enemy looks’ state and that is childish. May be at that point I was too scared to do that thinking about the consequences; and I am sure at least a good part of the smiles received and/or returned where of the same type.

Well, life has progressed much further than college days and my personality and people handling skills has progressed too. Guess there is still a degree of inner outer thingy that hangs around, but the outer types has lessened to a great extent predominantly because you tend to see and be with people who love and want to be with and there will be no more room for outer shows. But lies for no reason is different from this context

You ask somebody “where have you been last night?” It is ok if they tell you ‘I was out’, but if they tell you ‘I was at home cooking’ and you had seen this person pub crawling

You ask somebody “are you coming home with me?” It is ok if they tell you ‘sorry I have other plans’, but if they tell you ‘ I am going for house chores’ and you know that this person has already made plans to hang out with X

You ask someone “when are you off on holidays?” it is ok if they tell you ‘may be later this year’, but if they tell you ‘not decided I may not go at all’ when you clearly know that they have booked their tickets

You ask someone “where are you?” it is ok if they tell you ‘I am out going somewhere’, but if they tell you ‘I am going home, I am not going to X’s home’ when you can see them saying this to you from X’s home

You ask someone “which is the best school for kids here?” it is ok if they tell you ‘I don’t know, or search this place etc’, but if they tell you ‘ this place’ and you find out this is an awful school and this person is not sending his/her child there because of the very same reason

You ask someone “what are you going to do after your course?” it is ok if they tell you ‘ I will think of jobs’ but if they tell you ‘ I don’t know I may take a break or study further’ when you clearly know that this person has accepted a job offer

You ask Mr.X “did you do 123?” it is ok if Mr and Mrs puts it ‘not so great, slightly, tried etc’, but what if Mr X says ‘we have been trying 123 for many times, failed, now prepraring for next trial, doing lots for that’ and Mrs X says ‘oh no don’t prefer 123 so never bothered trying, and wouldn’t want 123’

These are some of the very basic day to day examples. But then WHY? Why do you do that? Is it going to make any difference if you let reality flow from you to the world? The only difference that I could think of is the credibility of the person where others would see him/her only from a swindler pedestal. This in turn would be a suspicious feel on the individual and lessens the chances of one being a taker of their true stories.

The next category of behaviour is where one doesn’t hand out any clear message which is not as appalling as deceiving. Someone who is always ‘I am thinking’, ‘I am not decided yet’, ‘I don’t know’, ‘when time comes’ and the likes. But here there may be some genuine cases where the person himself/herself would be a thinker – always! But the other lot will easily be picked up from doing (purposeful) deceiving thinking for example when you pass out different information to different folks, or you become so habitual in this sort of thinking thoughts. What I have experienced is most of the people who lie for no reason get caught one way or the other. And I have seen the embarrassment they collect in their pot if the catch is in public and the difficulty for them to pursue further; and the smarter here hunts for more lies. Some of them are lucky that they will not be skinned in public, but they wouldn’t make out the real picture where others consider and act when it comes to them. Their reputation just goes way down their thoughts and their true versions tend to be perceived as frauds.

Home sweet Home - RETURN

2011-06-02T13:17:00.000-07:00

Six years anon leaving homeland I still believe home is where your pedigree is. Being a home owner in a foreign country still doesn’t lend a hand to think that’s your ‘home’. Speak about home and there is this all genus of stuff about where you have come from begins pouring down. I had many foreign colleagues and friends visiting my home land having taken the inspiration from me; may be it is the passion that you have which could impress folks. The home emotions bind in closely with dad and mum which is all the same package for me. In fact some of my colleagues who did a jaunt to Trivandrum met up with my parents and brought me back all those good stories about the place, how much they enjoyed the sandy beaches and greens, how excited they were on the cheap shopping options, those precious antique material and of course the dosas and currys. I also loved to hear about my sweet and caring parents, giggly mom and beautiful home. And then I start terribly missing home and my loved ones there.

The first home you make is obviously something special for you, particularly since you have taken a big step in investment and you have splurged a lot of time, money and effort to customise it to your flavours. In fact here I have the Jills signs for life ‘Home sweet home; where your journey begins’ hanged in front of my entering corridor. Well, the trail in this piece started five years ago and we switched eight rental residences in five years time and lived in many different counties; and the alleyway extended from England to Scotland. And now we take a break near North Sea and bought our first home ‘Kilikoodu’ (yes, I do have the same board hanged in front of my house in Malayalam!). And we anticipate this is the big step and the best step we have taken before we return ‘home’. The decision to move to this top corner was taken after a lot of thinking, analysis and best practice examples.

But then ever since we moved in and in the due course of enjoying our own home we keep reaching the stage to start thinking of an exit plan in the next two to three year period. I am alleged for being so goal oriented that when one gets ticked off the list I robotically get moved on to the next challenge. It is the confidence of my other half in getting things done and the assurance in my potential (which I need to be reminded of occasionally) that helps me going.

The last six years boulevard was eventful and exciting which transformed the way I have cultured to look at things and moulded me as a better person and professional. Places and people around had a significant influence and effect in this course of action. And yes, I am still changing, improving, learning and adapting. I had the opportunity to travel around some different countries, sense the differences, know the customs, stories and myths, various tastes and this has added on to even better comprehend how different and unique everyone is and you can be proud of what you are - “I am enough and more to look at me”

I switched jobs number of times due to various reasons; in fact I toggled my professions and industries from a programmer to organisational strategist to a project manger to an IT consultant; from private sector to public sector, from country to country, onshore to offshore, utilities to health to energy domains...and the expedition still continues. Met a lot of people from various backgrounds, made friends in different parts of the world, became a part of many traditions and festivals…and I absolutely loved and learned all the way through. This has helped me shape myself more malleable, flexible and blending. But then the best part of the learning exercise is how great your belongings are and there is no way you are inferior. There were days previously in my career when I used to be not so comfortable bringing Indian lunch to an open plan office environment on the view that it could be smelly and people would ‘look’ at you. But then I realised in a little while that it is not as bad the ‘tuna’ and ‘sardine’ salads or bakes of the place; and how much fellow colleagues fancy your madras, jalfrezis and the tikka masalas. Oh yes, that adds to you – 95% of foreigners whom I have met extremely adores Indian food; and a good take of them love my cooking. How could someone not like those dosas, bajis and currys. On the contrary, I have come across a lot of Indians who says I prefer something other than core Indian. May be it is the grass on the other side is greener. It is like those Keralites who cannot bear rice and goes for ‘North Indian’. It is the same sort of thing with Keralites who cannot understand or speak Malayalam just because they were born and brought up outside Kerala (wherever it is). To my personal belief, that is cleanly parenting problems where if a parent doesn’t bother to give all those goodies they have had to the next generation or due to ignorance on those goodies. Whereas there are many UK born and bred Asian second and third generation folks fine and well-versed at their native languages (well, languages in their ethnic origins). In fact there are GCSE’s in Punjabi which many of my friends here have picked up for during their edification. Somehow there is a cross section of Keralite community who assumes their native languages are mediocre. It is a shame on how ignorance plays its part there and how they fail to realise how beautiful our language is

These are just so wandering feelings and I need not bother as I don’t have many readers. It is the urge to write sometimes which you would want to re-visit at a later date which gets me to put this together. Blog is a better weapon than those scattered files in your laptop and scribbled pages in your notepad. Having been employed in UK by an Indian parent company is the best paradigm to prove the rate of growth in India. Soon after I accepted an offer for a Consultant position with an American company there was this amalgamation with Indian company (which bought it over!). Though I was suspicious in the beginning I was proud about the merger very soon (obviously terms and conditions and of course my package stays the same!). So, this may be the first stride before RETURN.

It is not that I have a repugnance or antipathy towards UK. No, UK is one of the worthy places I have been. I have built up my career here, met exemplary people, made many warm friends, numerous good stories and lovely moments to cherish through lifetime and many more. And yes, I started my life with my man here which makes this place so special for me. I have done many experiments during the passage; of course with pleasant and unpleasant outcomes – but have never given up. The most we enjoy around here is the work life balance and the time for family. But I think the best part of our UK dynamism would be more of people than places. May be I should start writing about those people – acquaintances, friends, best models, annoying types and the not to follow types.

And yes, it is all about RETURN now – where my home is, where my family is, where I want Tak to see and get all those goodies we had, and where I want to live and love the most, and maybe I want Tak to do the same as we do now. But that would be too much to ask for; I would not stop him flying around where he wants once he is up and ready for that. Some job calls SreeRaj gets for work says ‘Are you ready to relocate for this from your family?’ and the answer is always ‘Of course, my family is in India and I am not there now; and hence fully flexible’. I think myself and Tak are just himself for him and the rest is family! So, RETURN - When and How! I need to put my analysis and PM hat for that as I have got process engineering and risk management resource in-house.

Leeds to Dundee RTN - TERRIBLE times!

2011-02-23T07:46:00.000-08:00

There is no wonder why the natives say, “You can never rely on British trains!”

And I had been the victim of rail issues several times, especially those services between Scotland and England. So, this is not a one off occurrence. I had an appointment to be made at Dundee at 2pm. As I don’t rely on rail services’ timekeeping and couldn’t afford to take a chance to miss the appointment I made myself set off (!) at the 7:10 train from Leeds to Aberdeen. And this service operated at fair levels and I reached Dundee by 11:50 am and my mind spoke ‘Not Bad!’...But then I was disturbed at the 2 hour wait prior to the meeting, and as the place did offer some food for shopping skills, I ended up spending money on some of the not so wanted junky bits and pieces there on the local stores. However, the meeting was good enough and went on schedule. So I could catch the 15:17 service from Dundee to Edinburgh which toiled on time. And here begins the story –

The train reached Edinburgh Waverly platform 1 at 16:24; a quick sight at the train updates got me to run for the next connection which I thought was the 16:27 Kings Cross - which could get me down at Leeds. So, here is the survival of the ‘fittest’ (by all means!) brain and body running at God knows what speed rate to catch the train in platform 9 saying Kings Cross. I believe God exists – if not I wouldn’t have asked the train crew ‘Does this go to Leeds?’. Eventhough the answer was weird the point was very much valid – ‘Yes, it does – it is coming from Leeds’. And now the tired brain and body said, ‘Oh nooo, where does it go to then?’ The charming crew – ‘Inverness, Can I be of any help?’

Right, so the run was of no gain, but of pain from high heels. Just then I realised someone did the same run along with me as I had told my fellow passenger (with whom I had already made a train travellers relationship with - talking about network coverage, and what do you do kinda stuff) who is a lecturer at St. Andrews and had the same destination to get to – Leeds (Oh yes, I can influence people! – I remember this guy telling me the connection is after 5pm, why did he join me for the run then?). Now, we both found out that the next train to Leeds is at 17:08 from a different platform. So, we said, ‘Seeya later!’ I went to check out the selection of shops I have got for a coffee. But then got a call from SRN asking about my travel update and got on to the chatty mood; gradually forgot about coffee. SRN did talk about usual stuff and reassured my pick up from Leeds station and agreed to bring Tak along. Did get to talk to Tak who said ‘Ammaa...Umma’ which was very cute; makes my day bright and bring smiles at whatever unpleasant state of affairs. Tak was asking if I have my ‘Compukaka’ – the reference is for the laptop! he manages to exercise his influencing skills on meand get a bit of his YouTube drills – the Macdonald Farm, Makka Pakka, Teletubbies and the likes.

I walked to the right platform and to my surprise the Bristol train was waiting there to be boarded which could get me to Leeds. Again ‘Not Bad’. I got in, rang SRN and confirmed – ‘pick me at 20:10’. Now next steps - taking a nap? Came the shocker then - announcement – the voice and accent was bleak, maybe it was the message that got me to say this. “There is a damage with the rail network. Currently no trains are running in the North or South. Sorry for the inconvenience. The latest update is that this train will remain in this platform at least for the next 1 hour” with a big stress on that ‘ATLEAST’. I felt drained – This is definitely terrible!

Unable to manage a nap now, lost the mood. No network coverage, no books to read, and didn’t want to work! If I had access to Internet may be the complaint levels would have been lighter. And I start writing this! The next announcement followed ‘This train wouldn’t leave this platform until 18:08, so the passengers are free to get out for food or drinks’. Man, this is terrible. I rang SRN and expressed my concerns and also warned we wouldn’t be talking much over the phone now as I didn’t want to run out of memory and be lost in the rail ‘way’ somewhere at night. The fellow passenger who sits opposite me who looks like a banking professional has absolutely no expressiveness towards the matter, only thing I could see was a nod which seemed to convey ‘whatever’ for all those announcements. The group of guys sitting beside are busy sending messages – oh yeah that’s the age! And now one of them got out saying, ‘I can’t take this anymore. I am going to stay up somewhere here tonight. Will see ya at office tomorrow morn. If anybody decides to do the same, let me know we shall meet up for a drink’. I thought, ‘SMART’ – and that is management.

Well, I wouldn’t do that even if Tak was not there – that is me who wouldn’t change too much from the ‘border line’ which SRN always points out. However, train is now swarming with all those passengers who hunted to get trains to the South since 16:00 and everyone I am certain is hoping that this train would fire up at 18:08 and keeping fingers crossed for the next broadcast.

Oh yeah, now the status update message reads – ‘Due to a failed train and lineside equipment damage, all trains are blocked’. I notice it is 18:11 now. Ohmmy God, this is AWFUL. How can you find positive material out of those times when you are thrown off like this? I know things could be worse, but then now I just want this damn train to move!

Now, at 18:17, the next declaration – “Have some good news, Train will be departing shortly and the first stop will be Dunbar’. I am sure fellow passengers could observe an instinctive smile in my face. However the guy with banking professional looks still has no reaction apart from a very silent ‘whatever’. Man, how can you be so inexpressive! But the elderly lady opposite was contented. I can see the rail lines going further away from me now as I write this. The east coast is beautiful, which takes its own pride to show you what it has got in its arms – cattle in lush green – Tak loves the sight. But now, it is all dark dark and dark – thats’ what winter bestow! Could be shoddier, at least it is not snowing.

Well, somehow most of the passengers managed to get food. Guys sitting opposite are munching away sandwiches and crisps, 6 to 7 pieces of crisps in a single go! There was announcement from catering crew on food and drink options they have. Nothing to my interest, the ‘veggie’ options provided are – Egg Mayo/Cheese and Tomato sandwiches...and non alcoholic drinks – Orange juice/Coke. I am not hungry enough to give in for these options yet.

Is it Perfect?

2011-01-25T08:01:00.000-08:00

Is life perfect for everything you want or you get?

You are looking for a house – do you get one with all your pre-requisites (may be your likes/needs)- in the locality u want- in your budget -at a specified timeframe!

You are looking for a job – do you get one with the industry you want to get associated with-within the close proximity of your home- in the pay grade and job profile you expect - with an acceptable work culture!

You are looking for a car – do you get one with all that you fancy in a car – brand, colour, performance, mileage -in your budget!

You are looking for a holiday – do you get a deal- in the place and resort you want- in the season you fancy- in your anticipated budget!

You are looking for a baby – do you get one at the time you want- in all full and great health you would want to- can be with you as much as you expect!

Well, this list is eternal...I have not met anyone who has everything given as they would want to for them. If you get at least a 50% of what you look for in your life, you are lucky. Once when I complained about some of the not so perfect material one of my friends did point this out to me - ‘Lekshmi, life is not perfect’. If it was so, then people would perhaps not have had any belief in God or the driving forces! At least most of the believers get to think of God if there is a snag, well reality of God and credence are a total different topic though.

And then have been getting associated with real life stories of folks for whom you think (or they think) life is perfect; and who as if get a blow from behind falls into unexpected catastrophe in life. Some things which you cannot have a control on or have say- for example loss of lives!

Well, you got to accept the situation I guess and take the best option feasible I guess when it comes to the context and degree of perfection!

2009-2010

2010-12-22T05:16:00.000-08:00

After a break!

Year and more than a quarter have gone by and have not had a chance to take a pew and write anything! Life has taken its toll in terms of learning, responsibilities, love, care, emotions and what not!!!

An impeccable year 2009 has conceded presenting me wonderful things in life! Made my life change in one of the most loving and lovable ways. It took a bit of time to sink in and apprehend the truth – you are responsible for another life when you carry a baby in your womb; but then the story doesn’t change much when they are out at least for the initial period especially it was an unexplainable emotion to realise that your body is responsible for the food for your baby! Yup, breastfeeding was the most ever challenging things in my life and the hardest thing I have ever done. It took my body a bi-annual period to get used to the idea and start enjoying the course. If not for the love, support and confidence boosters I had from my better half I would have not been able to pass the testing times. But then you have no idea how easily you start falling in love and be ‘responsible’ for every single aspect of the new relation. People say that is the law of nature!

Though you tend to talk about your sleepless nights and smelly nappies, I don’t think most mothers genuinely grumble about the phase. Some say no time to complain, guess I was overwhelmed with joys of having M and didn’t feel like complaining. As most people put it, ‘it is all worth it’. And slowly your little one starts responding to you – oh man, I tell you that’s your world of joy! I never knew I would enjoy parenthood like the way I do now. That is the same case with better half – Brilliant DAD. Though your toddler consumes whole lot of your available time and your couple life changes a bit, you wouldn’t complain much. I think the couple bond changes to a stronger emotional double bond with a jumping monkey in the middle! Having been referred to as an over anxious parent when it comes to the baby stuff, I think first baby, you are new to it...and that is the way it should be. You have time (well and chance!) to improve. And there is no right or wrong that others can advocate in raising your baby – I strongly believe it is the way to do what you feel is the right thing to do, after all that is your baby!

Took a year off from work which was fantastic! Planned the delivery in India and had all the pampering from family! Oh yeah that is the place where you can catch support (or hire support) for anything related to your baby – you can sit and enjoy your after-delivery period. But then I think I was too sucked in to the world of my boy and didn’t want anybody to do my part of the pack. Back to UK – fun filled 6 months enjoying maternity leave as a full-time mum and home maker! Overall I rate 2009 as FANTASTIC – things can’t get any better than this (in fact don’t know to ask for anything healthier than this!).

The subsequent year – 2010 before I get a grip on things, it is coming to an end in a weeks’ time and I thought I should take a crumb of time to reflect how it was. The year passed by at the speed of light – didn’t even comprehend. Loads of happenings – all for good! M has been referred to as Thakkudu (cute? - don’t know!) even before birth which got shortened to Thak by his Dad when he gets too cheeky - which in turn got chucked down to ‘Tak’ by the gorgeous himself. Cheeky monkey says ‘Tak’ after getting into some naughty stuff and ensures that everybody is bursting out with laughter and he wins the game!

The best part of the year is Tak itself – the growing up stage! Both of us were fortunate to enjoy every speck of it; and that is the prevalent pleasure we have ever had. Term it - responsible, over-anxious, obsessed, addicted, drugged or whatever! Tak calls aMMaaa with a huge stress on that M in the typical Mal accent!
Touchwood we were showered upon with returns for good work, opportunities, family support, long lasting memories and so much. SRN’s new job is treating him well; my return to work was easy and smooth; could settle down fast and Tak settled well in nursery. Had the harmony and peace at home, excellent work life balance, good holidays, enough partying (oh yeah Tak has more social commitments than us now!), met new and good friends, family and friends’ support and so much!

Sample shots of great feelings this year:
• To see your boy running to you shouting out ‘AMMMAA’ at nursery in the evening when you go to pick up!
• To hug your other half tight when he is back after a couple of days (or more) from business trips and when you are stressed and of course waiting after a single parent job during the time!
• To see your little one kissing his grandparents over the phone!
• To get that appreciation at work when someone let you know when you have done a wonderful job!
• To get those things you have wanted for so long and when your other half surprises you with that for no reason!
• To hear that your boy has done well at nursery from a twilighter – he has done some colors, eaten well, played well, slept well and so on!
• The first of types with your baby – first walk, first word, first paint, first tooth, first hair cut and anything of the first of types!
• To get that entry to the metro when it is overcrowded and the driver says no more entry; but still someone shows that kindness to squeeze a little bit and get you in; so that you get to see your baby 15 minutes before!
• To catch up with old and long lost friends!

Well, life is not complete without challenges too. 2010 had been challenging at times as well.
• When my parents left and we couldn’t get support from other side as planned due to family weddings – all of sudden I was blank – what to do with Tak! But then to my surprise Tak has settled well at Kids Academy much quicker and easier than I had ever expected.
• SRNs job move to Scotland and the single parent job for me at times is demanding or exhausting especially when Tak gets a bug or flu. But then, we have survived the tides until now. The job move has put my job at risk (at the moment) as I will have to find a suitable position in Scotland which has not been very great this year.
• The snow, the bugs, flu and all sorts has been exigent from a parent perspective, but then that is all part of the package.
• Oh yeah! The dark circles around eyes – is not getting any better!!! I think I can smartly and carefully mask it with some estee lauder eye colours; but truth never dies!

Too much of bullet points – recently into too much of reports I guess! Well altogether 2010 had been great as well. I am actually looking forward to 2011 – to see what is in store for us! Sure to have more of Tak as he is growing fast; much more intelligent than we think! Apart from this the big tasks for 2010 in my hit list are move to Scotland, sorting out jobs, entering the property ladder!

Fortune Cookies!!!

2009-05-26T02:46:00.000-07:00

Chinese meal was something taste buds demanded to mark the end of this bank holiday weekend. So we decided to try out the ‘My Asia’ Chinese restaurant in Northallerton! Guess this was the only one restaurant left to try out in the high street as this one always gave the impression of a not so great place. When we decided to try our luck last night we were quite surprised and impressed by the standard of the place. The ambience was great inside and so was the quality of the products! Infact the service was great too unlike some of the Chinese places where we are expected to finish off in a hurry.

Yeah, you get for what you pay; the place is expensive! But didn’t complain much as we both enjoyed whatever we ordered. As always I had my doubts on quantity while ordering but struggled to finish off the mains after starters; so desert was sacrificed! Then comes the bumper, fortune cookies! I was seeing it for the first time and was not particularly interested, just wanted to pay and get off. SreeRaj opened his cookie and it said, "You will make many changes before settling down satisfactorily!”. And we we got interested; SreeRaj knew there was a story behind fortune cookies and asked the customer service girl about it. She said, “ No story!”. Guess she has a bit of language problem. We left the story thingy there and now I wanted to open mine though didn’t want to have it as I was so full. There comes mine ,” You will be graced by the presence of a loved one soon!”. I was like, “Woah! This is good”. Now I wanted to try it out and it tasted good too – fat free, vanilla flavour plain flour simple cookie!

We were both happy with our fortune cookies!!! And then I badly wanted to know what the story behind this is. Here it goes (from a piece of google search)

“For many centuries the Chinese have marked special occasions and festival times such as harvest and New Year with the giving and receiving of Moon Cakes these were made from Lotus Nut Paste.
During the 13th and 14th centuries China was occupied by the Mongols. When plans were made in Peking for a popular uprising to oust the invaders, much thought was given how news of the date of the uprising could be circulated without alerting the Mongols.
The story goes that the Mongols had no taste for Lotus Nut Paste and so the Chinese hid the message containing the date in the middle of their Moon Cakes replacing the yolk with secret messages. Patriotic revolutionary, Chu Yuan Chang took on the disguise of a Taoist priest and entered occupied walled cities handing out Moon Cakes. These were the instructions to co-ordinate the uprising which successfully formed the basis of the Ming Dynasty.
Thus the tradition of giving cakes with messages was born and became a popular way of expressing wishes of goodwill or good fortune on an important occasion.
The origins of the Fortune Cookie as we know it today were laid down by the Chinese 49'ers who worked on the building of the great American railways through the Sierra Nevada into California.
Work was very hard and pleasures were few in isolated camps, those hard workers had only biscuits with happy messages inside, to exchange at the Moon festival instead of traditional cakes with happy messages, thus the FORTUNE COOKIE was born. This became something of a cottage industry and as the Chinese settled in San Francisco after the railway and the Gold boom the custom continued. Today it is almost impossible to have a Chinese meal in America and Canada without finishing with a Fortune Cookie.
More and more businesses and even governments are having promotional messages printed on the opposite side to the fortune. The HONG KONG police used them in anti - drugs campaigns and the US followed.
The first automated production of Fortune Cookies took place in America in 1964 before that they were made by hand. In recent years fully automated facilities have been set up in the UK to produce Fortune Cookies that are now gaining increasing popularity in Chinese restaurants and Take-Aways across the U.K. and Europe”

Interesting!!! A good selling point too – fortune wrapped in a piece of paper! Who wouldn’t like to see pleasing things like this though you believe in it or not!

Travelling alone :(

2009-05-13T07:15:00.000-07:00

Travelling is fun for me if I have the right company. I have always enjoyed travelling with family and friends whether it is a fully planned trip or an instant idea. Both has its own charm. Start of a drive in the morning and randomly pick a place which you want to visit or see with your better half – its simply wonderful! If you get your friends joining in for this it is even better. With not much expectation but with great pleasure you set off for it. And then you have the full planned itinerary ones which you have dreamt, planned and the much awaited ones. With high expectations you set off for it and needless to say most of the times the outcome is pleasurable.

No matter how good the travel or destination is (even if it is going back home) I don’t enjoy travelling alone. And I am not good at travelling alone. Let it be airports, train stations, buses, even walking distances I hate travelling alone. Even for my up and down train journeys I long for company. It is relatively a better journey as I know clearly where I am supposed to reach as it is a routine and the route has a ‘feel at home’ feeling by now. Otherwise travelling alone gives me a lot of stress most of the times. Having real poor direction sense things get messed up a good amount of time. And again I hate to manage the sign posts, directions and anything of that sort on my own. I know I am pampered! Then again if the journey involves any waits where I have to kill time on my own, my frustration goes up and high and it is at its worst if I cannot get connected to the world! Less luggage more comfort logo adds onto it. Even if it’s a trolley bag I feel I am in pain. The bottom line is travelling alone is a pain!

2009-05-05T04:15:00.001-07:00

Four more weeks to go at work before a break!!! In fact a long break.
Guess I have been working continuously for four years and the longest break I had got in between would be of two months during the marriage. Straight to University from there! And then started work before the course finished. Now looking back at it, things were hectic though it kept me occupied all the while with not much time to complain. Anyway, I am really looking forward to the break now.

The past months had been absolutely busy with so many trips, Sruthi fifth annual event and with not one spare weekend to wind off. But then I guess it was enjoyable to a great extent. Met a lot of new people, got more time with friends, got lots of shopping done and so on.
The Fort William trip was AMAZING. Absolutely fell in love with the place!!! And it was a perfect holiday, didn’t want to come back. My initial feel about the holiday wasn’t great as I expected the 6+ hours drive would kill me. But to my surprise I enjoyed every bit of the drive (for a change!) and didn’t even doze off once. You don’t want to miss anything on the sides I guess, that picturesque it is. The lively Oban Marina and drive arounds nearby make it perfect destination to for all sorts of people I guess – panoramic as well activity oriented from walks to scuba diving!

Now with the start of May you feel more at ease as you are spoilt with two bank holidays. One is already down and you get more and more reluctant to get up on Tuesday mornings to start the working week. However, the weather has not changed much in North Yorkshire as I am still on my winter jacket (may be its just me). But occasionally you get sunny days too. The next long weekend is already blocked with a walk organised in the Dales with some friends (a BIG group in fact) followed by a BBQ. And I am sure I will need the next two days for rest after this! And then I will be left with just another 1 week before I leave. God, time does fly!

The to-do list for me just goes on and on and the deadlines are in four weeks time. All four weekends are already blocked as you tend not to miss anyone/anything during this time. Maximum catch ups with people!
The next scary thingy is on swine flu! I tend to suspect on myself all those symptoms I get to hear on various illnesses. Now that I have a cold that’s been running for a while I wanted to check if its swine flu. But I am sure it is not; but I wanted to check. My next air travel is in five weeks time to India, I just hope the viruses would be settled by then. Today in office, there is a notice put up in rest rooms, ‘If u feel sick, please be at home! Don’t pass on the germs!’ How true and I highly appreciate the idea.

Vishu

2009-04-14T06:28:00.000-07:00

Today is Vishu, the start of Malayalam year. The harvest festival it is and is more popular and celebrated widely in North Kerala. Though I am from South Kerala Vishu was always special for us. It is not that we did big do’s on any of the Vishu’s, but the making of Vishukani and Vishukaineetam was always special. Vishukaineetam used to be one of the catching times when you were younger as it is the time when your pockets get filled up. Though the great Malayali feast, sadhya was not always there but Amma always managed with a mini sadhya and a payasam.

All the previous years I managed to be at home with either of the Mums during Vishu. Cant really say I am not at home this time, but it is always different with just both of us. The main thing being you miss everybody back home and you tend to compromise on celebrations thinking, ‘oh its just two of us!’ Especially this time Vishu falls on the working day very next to the Easter long weekend. Having had a weekend with late nights and wandering around with friends you are too tired to open your eyes next morning on the working day. But this time, for a change we managed to make a small Vishukani with available resources last night before we hit the bed. The traditional flower used for celebrating Vishu is the state flower in Kerala, Kanikonna is no way available in North East England. That is one big tree which marks the season in Kerala with absolutely no leaves at this time and fully flowered in bright yellow. I miss that!!! However, I had thought daffodils do give the same feel of the colour or atleast yellow chrysanthms. But, being a holiday yesterday we couldn’t sort the flowers out until evening, reason being we forgot about it. So for the Vishukani we managed with some white lilies, some fruits and veggies, a gold chain, a mirror and the available resources at home.

Got up an hour earlier than usual so that we get ample time for Vishukani and to catch up with family on phone. I should say getting up early and just opening your eyes infront of Lord Krishna with a Vishukani in front of him and then a look at Vaalkannadi make you feel great. Yes, the feeling is the same wherever you are in the world. Made sure I was not late for the trains as there is a saying that your entire year will somehow have the same effect if you mess up with the starting date. Superstitions never die however confident or convinced you are on their possibilies, sometimes you just don’t want to take a chance when it comes to you.

A typical afternoon lunch/bite

2009-03-19T07:35:00.000-07:00

Having been too lazy or too tired to bring in my lunch these days I have been grabbing something for lunch from the shops. Leeds, supposed to be spoiling you by choice offers a lot; but sticking to the vegetarian side for the past few months it is difficult to grab something of interest. If you are not fond of cheese, cold pastas, chutneys in sandwiches and the likes vegetarian options aren’t much. Most of the days you just have to make yourself happy with a soup and bread or a jacket potato with beans; unless you are on a proper eat out to the restaurants with friends or colleagues.
Well, I do give in for the veggie patties from Subway which is the only one thing I can consume from there. Subway teaches you to be really prompt in a way – to answer for a number of questions within a second.

One of the lunch orders I placed with Subway and the result
Subway Guy (SG): What is that you are going for?? Looking at their meal deals and offers. Is that a bit rude? No, he doesn’t really know to please, looks like still in training; definitely not an English guy!
Me: Just a veggie patty please
SG: Which bread and size
Me: Italian herbs and cheese please
He has already taken out a 8 foot long and started placing stuff in itMe: Excuse me, please wait, just a normal 6 inch one please
SG: Oh ok! (Cutting it into half) Any cheese?
Me: No, thanks
SG: Want it heated? (already the patty had gone into the oven)
Me: Yes please, thank you
SG: What salads would you like? (already placed a load of lettuce into that)
Me: Sorry, can you please take those lettuces off
SG: Oh sorry, what else (tried taking out a good portion of the lettuce placed in)
Me: Can I have some cucumber and tomatoes please
SG: placed them in the sub on top of the patty (organised!)
Me: Can I have some extra olives and jalapenos please
SG: placed a good deal of olives and a GOOD deal of jalapenos as well. The extra is misunderstood for jalapenos too. I could have made it clearer as just extra olives. By then I lost my patience and left it, didn’t bother to take the extra jalapenos off
SG: What sauce do you like?
Me: Can I have just a lil bit of Chilli Mayo please
SG: Had poured the Chilli sauce all over the sub.Me: I was lost now!!! ‘I said Chilli Mayo’ ..can you please take this sauce off please
SG: Oh is it? You mean the western??
Me: This one please…pointing to the Chilli Mayo bottle….
SG: It was practically not possible for anyone to take the beautifully distributed chilli sauce off the sub. This poor soul tried digging out the sauce and the whole thing looked pathetic by now. ‘Can I replace the patty for you Madam?’
Me: YES PLEASE
SG: threw another veggie patty to the oven. ‘please wait for a minute’
Me: Thank you
SG: By the time the new patty came in this guy forgot the ‘lil bit’ for the Chilli Mayo sauce. He had poured a hell lot of chilli mayo within a fraction of a second into the sub to make me happy. ‘Here you go’
Me: Didn’t bother anymore. Just wanted to run off. THANK YOU!!!
SG: Any drink? (Already had a cup taken out for that)Me: No thanks. Paid and left the place.
Enough for the lunch deal. Just then noticed the ‘spicy lentil soup’ boards in Bagel Nash; should have gone for that though I would feel ‘I can make a better dal anyday!’ Allright, need a break - thought will go for a browse at the office cyber café as I had some stuff to do from my personal email account. Now, when I opened the sub, it was a real MESS. It was too big for me to take it in my mouth in the first place. And it was too damn spicy with all the chilli mayo and jalapenos!!! Taste buds have had quite a change in about two years time and spice levels had come really down. Spent another five minutes cleaning up the sub to take out the unwanted bits and pieces to wash it down my stomach. Some of my colleagues who were there gave those looks which said –‘Oh you are too fussy with food’!!! Can’t complain much on the looks and comments here now as I am fussy with food. But then wasn’t angry or unhappy at the end. I did enjoy the sub at last; clubbed with a browse and a ten minutes google chat with nephew who was telling me his holiday plans.

Name and Place

2009-03-05T03:12:00.000-08:00

What is it that you should look for in a name?
- meaningful?
- Stylish?
- Easy to use?
- Adaptable in any part of the world?
- Traditional; adhering to culture?
- Religious?

I think it depends on how you look at things and how you want to be looked at by others. My name being one of those traditional names from India is quite popular in my motherland. But then now being in England, English and of course most of the non-Indians find it difficult to pronounce in the first place. But then I always educate people to get my name right. If someone asks me the meaning I think I am proud to say I am named after the goddess of wealth and prosperity. And I have never tried to shorten it to Leks, Lax or ‘L’(though there had been friends who used it that way); somehow I feel it is a question to my identity. But can’t really say it is a bad practice to shorten the names especially to those who have incredibly long names with unusual syllables.

I don’t really think there is a problem is clarifying your name twice or thrice to someone who has not heard the name before; there is absolutely nothing to be shameful about that. It is their ignorance and you should still be proud of your names. I don’t understand why people take strenuous efforts to change their names once they are in a new place. I don’t think it is worth changing your roots (especially if it is your dad’s name or family name) just for the convenience of other people and that you are in a different part of the world. I have seen British getting confused with pronouncing British names; and same with Europeans. So its just there everywhere. There is definitely a way to get around it.

There are these wise people who name their kids accordingly which are justifiable to an extent. Just because you know the kid is not going to spend a significant time of their life in India they don’t really see a point in going for a proper Indian name. They just name it conveniently for the use of non-Indians (and Indians). But then I personally feel you are then disadvantaged with the choice of some of the beautiful names you can go for.

Miserable day of the Year – Jan 19th, Blue Monday

2009-01-20T04:09:00.001-08:00

Yesterday morning when I was having breakfast it was told in BBC that psychologists and day experts say Jan 19th is the Blue Monday – the most miserable day of the year. And we scoffed at them saying every day is glorified with some term. I was on relatively high spirits for the start of my Prince2 course. However, the day turned out really miserable for me; an absolute nightmare.

It was raining in the morning. SreeRaj dropped me at the station and I boarded a train to Leeds at 7:45 am. As the course was happening with an external trainer in Leeds I had a map with me to locate the place when I reach Leeds. And I had a well set buffer time as my training was supposed to start only at 9:30 am. The train was on time and I managed to get hold of a priority seat and was very comfy and slowly gone to a nap. By the time I opened by eyes there was no one in train and my mind was on a shock, ‘God, did I reach London?’ I thought I had slept off and reached the final destination of the train. However, I managed to get out and it was only York – only half way through. The station was crowded and from the announcements I got to know that there were no trains running to Leeds due to some fatality. Instead they have made arrangements with coaches to take passengers to Leeds. And we were to board the coach from outside the station. I walked out of the station for coaches and found out that there was a HUGE queue in the form of a flock. Not on the ‘survival of the fittest’ mood, I waited with patience for around 20 minutes there to get in and by the time some coaches have left. It was really a test of patience in freezing cold.

Then there comes the next announcement that rail services will be resumed shortly and no more coaches will be running there after. So I got into the station again and the direction was to board the train in platform 5 to Leeds. By the time it was already 9 o clock, and I got into the train, sat there for around 10 minutes and there you get the next announcement that next train to Leeds departs from platform 7. Good God I thought and walked over to platform 7 and boarded the train there. As soon as this was done all the passengers were directed to move to Platform 9 for Leeds trains. By this I have lost my hope as I was sure I was not going to make it on time for training. Walked over to platform 9 for the train; this didn’t work out as well and another announcement came that transpennine express to Manchester Airport via Leeds leaves shortly from Platform 11. The mob including me rushed to platform 11 now and boarded finally. This train was over crowded and I had to walk the whole stretch of the train to see if I can find a place to sit. Well, the walk was not in vain and got a side seat in the table near a huge man (somehow no one wanted to sit there as you get only a portion of the seat as the other guy occupied more than half of that seat too). All these happened within 20 minutes and by that time everyone in the train was frustrated making calls to their work place cancelling meetings and appointments. I was a bit relieved, ‘Oh, not just me!’ However despite all hopes the train started only at 10:30 am and all were stuck as if in a big tunnel, it was not a pleasant thing to happen on a Monday morning. Meanwhile four different reasons were given for this, ‘Fatality, Signal problem between Church Fenton and Leeds, Signal problem to leave York station, Signal problem to enter Leeds station’!

Meanwhile I get a call from my colleague saying that the course is cancelled as the trainers were off sick. As soon as she hang up realised I didn’t have my office laptop with me and its better to go home and work from there. The train doors were locked at the same second and I couldn’t get out. All I could do was to travel to Leeds now. Reached Leeds around 11:00 am, got in to office and explained the miserable story to everyone. Meanwhile one of my colleagues checked online and told me that I have a train leaving to my home station in the next 7 minutes, otherwise only one after 2 pm. It was another marathon now to ran back to station and catch this one. However, this bit was not bad and I did manage to catch. But, by this I was shattered and couldn’t even sleep because of the frustration. This train ran late for another half hour and I reached Northallerton around 1 pm. I was literally in trains from 7:45 am to 1:00 pm. So, how can I not agree to the predictions of Blue Monday! It definitely was for me!!! However, the second half of the day was relatively better.

3 more days for PRINCE2

2009-01-15T08:25:00.001-08:00

The countdown has started for Prince2 course – 3 more days! And that generates a heat now as I have only started the pre-reading properly this week. There was a time in life when I could literally do a whole text book the day before examination which was sometimes referred to as ‘mugging up’ or been called as a liar for saying I did it only last night. However, things used to work then. But now, there is a limit to which I can take in I guess. I keep on reading the junk but nothing gets registered and there is absolutely no point in that. Having done say a 40% of the Office of Government Commerce (OGC) manual by now I am unsure if I can finish off the whole thing in the next 3 days. Especially 2 days being weekend when nothing happens really!
I have tried a sample question paper of 15 questions out of which I scored a 9 which isn’t very disappointing, not very promising too.

I wonder why I opted for the course early this year. Not the right time due to several reasons; but then earlier the better and it is done then. I am trying to ponder with the manual at nights this week, but then really get switched off with everything in a couple of a hours max. I wonder how I used to stay awake the whole night before exams in the past. I hope I can still do a bit of it in the next two days; I have to as I don’t have a choice. What happened during the last week is if I make my brain work for more than 2 hours then I need a ‘quality’ break and this has resulted in watching two good movies. Slumdog Millionaire and A Wednesday! Wow, they were both very good and was a bit of relief from Prince2.

But then reading is not getting on a fast track. If I do a fast track I struggle to get them! I had collected the manual in December thinking that I will work on it during the break. But I had completely forgotten about this until second week of January when I saw one of my colleagues reading it. Again, I started on a slow pace and now I am scared to take sample tests as I havnt done the reading in the first place and has a fobia towards a ‘not pass’! Got to crack this one in three days somehow. The manual is a best medicine if you have a sleeping problem. The fact is I enjoy various aspects of project management starting from initiation until closure and you experience, learn and practise as you do the work. But the theory is so damn dry on this and various terminologies do confuse you at times. And obviously having a problem with choice and part of the test being multiple choice I just hope and pray it is not going to be a piece of nightmare.

Though you are a professional and trying to improve your area of work through a specialised training, the moment you know you are going to be tested based on a exam with a course and pre-reading you get back to a student mind set. And it is much more important here to pass the exam. The start of 2009 is a bit demanding I guess; but no complaints as I have a million reasons to be happy about 2009.

Start of 2009

2009-01-07T02:22:00.000-08:00

Gone are the days of 2008. And now it is 2009!!! Time just simply flies. I have a special likeness for New Year too!
The year 2008 had been really great with us and family, touchwood! And I am looking forward to 2009.

The start is quite good; back to office after the long Christmas and New Year break, still in the hang over I would say. But then work is kicking off well in New Year, projects are starting up, meetings and discussions, keeps me busy through the day with not much time to complain.

The weather has become terrible in England with snow, ice and chilling cold. And is on severe weather warnings everyday! I check everyday before I get out of home if the trains are running and it will be nightmare if they don’t especially in the evenings. And most of the trains are delayed, cancelled or stuck! Despite all these the rail ticket prices have gone UP to around 20%.
There are a lot of bugs going around, winter flu, winter vomiting bug, diarrhoea and even chicken pox. We had been the victims of winter flu early in November and guess that’s the only reason we were saved during the break. Most of our friends had got either one of these; and we stayed away from bugs! So many of the holiday plans were cancelled and it was a quiet one, quite relaxing though!

On an economic perspective 2009 is not predicted to be a great one as recession hits badly. Many shops are on closing down; having been for one of the closing down sales for Woolworths we were on a shopping spree and picked up a lot of junk (from clothes to post-it notes) which we would have never bothered to have a look if it wasn’t for ‘sale’. Oops, it was a purely a stupid shopping spree! However, realising this effect we have decided to stop going for closing down sales (at least for the next couple of months!!!). But, rest of the sales this year for Boxing Day and New Years was not as great as expected. Favourite brands did have sales on, but most of them were ‘upto’ 50% ones. None of the decent things came for a good 50% off. May be it is just how I look at it; I had expected some of my favourites to come down to half price. Having roamed around Debenhams for a couple of hours on Boxing Day I couldn’t find any good deals of my interest. May be it was just that I was disappointed as some of the dresses I expected to come down didn’t!

New Year brings me back to a student life for a month again. I am on my Prince2 Practitioner Course from Jan 19th and have the exam on 23rd. Have a lot of pre-reading to do, have just started with the introduction chapter and I realise now it is high time. May be I should sit with it straight for say a good 3-4 hours; probably then will get the hang of it. This is a two part exam with a foundation and practitioner. I could have done it any time of the year, but then earlier the better; and you are done with it. And it is closely aligned with my work as well; so I expect it to be a good value addition; and of course looks good in CV.

Will come up with a bit more of news later! Happy New Year!

Influencing Skills

2008-12-18T04:40:00.000-08:00

It has been busy, busy and busy over the past few days.
Transition to new job role is working fine, Tier 2 application with extension of visa successful, Santa coming to us in different forms and much more. The year end is keeping us in high spirits till now.

Another one on those Bray Leino trainings – Influencing Skills!!! It is absolutely a great skill to develop (or further develop) in professional as well as personal life. The one which I attended was quite generic; still there were many things which were food for thought. For example what is a fair mix of extrovert and introvert types? The trainer listed down many characteristics for each of them. Certainly introverts and extroverts have their own favourable and unfavourable factors. One among them was Extroverts are ‘annoying’ and Introverts are ‘boring’. Not necessarily always, it depends on contexts/situations they are in. So a fair mix of both should be considered while dealing with people.

You are on managing a meeting or delivering a presentation; and you get a room full of extroverts. The audience are on a race to talk, talk and talk sometimes to prove their point; or to rebut someone else’s. And some techies in the audience try to question the presenter to prove him/her and the audience that ‘I know more than what you know’. There are presenters who take it in a very constructive way, but often I have seen people getting annoyed with that (I have had to deliver only very few technical presentations in my life, and they were when I started my career as a software engineer). Rest of the presentations in my life were more or less on management side. However, no one expects anyone to know everything about what they present – you could very well be frank and say ‘I am not sure about that, can I confirm and get back to you!’. Also getting an audience full of introverts is not very exciting. You need a good degree of challenge to keep you going anywhere.

One of the key points on influencing people, group of people or an organisation is that can you predict or later determine the degree to which you did the influencing? That was a perfect question as I have never given it a thought. Influencing skills in my professional life has had direct results as well as indirect ones. But then, determination of the degree of it isn’t easy. May be it can be measured relatively. For that, you need someone else or a group of people to do the same which isn’t the case often with work environments.

Another interesting section of the training was that the trainer asked everyone to identify a person who has influenced them in their lives. It was a very open question that it could have been anyone in personal life or professional life. It is not a matter of thought for me as I have the clear cut answer for the person who has influenced me the most in my life – that is my father. The group had a wide variety of answers which ranged from ‘my grandson’ to ‘Mahatma Gandhi’. Mahatma Gandhi was identified by many in the room as one with great influencing skills; and I was the single Asian in the group. It added on to my pride being an Indian.

For me, most of the times I realise when I am getting influenced by people. It can be their power, character, efficacy, skills and the likes which have an effect on me. On the lighter side, I have been a victim of these many times. Anywhere any time,

- when I was in school I was influenced my by teacher,
- at home I was the best influenced by my parents which is my pride
- when I grew up though I don’t like to accept I was influenced by a good mix of people – say friends, my crush-list ones, even celebrities and many more
- when I found my MAN in life I am heavily influenced by that person
- In professional life you have many models in front of you who you accept and like to follow; also proud to say they influenced you.

And I am confident on my influence on certain people who I think should be influenced by me. But, can certainly have further development in the area.

Braggadocios!!!

2008-12-03T07:25:00.000-08:00

Having been living for one third of an average human life-cycle I have developed certain strong likes and dislikes! I think I am going to indite on my dislikes now and this doesn’t necessarily mean or one should speculate that I am a negative person. I am NOT. Well, can’t really say I am the most optimistic too. But, I am sure my optimism levels have improved especially over the last couple of years and I can see I am reaching there to the most optimistic levels.

Now, it is about certain dislikes or aversions I am getting stuck to in a very hard way. The main one on this is on Braggadocio – the word is new to me. But it is all about boasting and the big talks. I just cannot stand it these days and get awfully annoyed by braggarts. It is a perfect abhorrence for me. I have realised that I have started reacting to those of this kind – whether it is genuine or fake. Being a sort of person who is relatively slower in reacting to repugnance and with a relatively higher reaction time I am sure if I am experiencing expeditious reactions with such occasions it is just not me. In simple terms boasting can be of in any form, in all walks of life, anywhere and anything for one to do

For example,
Some people desperately try hard to prove who they are and how good they are. Good on what? Anything! Usual ones being on their brains, academics, jobs, speaking skills, artistic talents, and what not! Even on their swearing skills!!!– If one is good, do they really have to try hard to prove? On a personal perspective I feel if someone is trying to boast on somethingt – true or fake; it is simply because they have an inferiority complex on it, or they just doubt if they are accepted in that way – that is simply lack of confidence.

Some others try to boast on their social set up – Who I am? Where am I from? Who is who? And who are my people – friends, family, colleagues, even their Exs. I pity these types. It is very much true that you should be proud of who you are and on your whereabouts. But it is an absolute ridicule when they go around and exercise hard to prove that.

Another type is on the asset which is now on the material aspects. What have I got? Acres of land, Unlimited account balance, Lamborghini, luxury homes and what not? People here even try hard to prove how great they are by saying their post codes just because it shows how posh the place of your living is! How strange!!!

There are even worse ones – emphasis on how good you look! These types are quite funny because it is one of the eye-front evidence. People can see how good you look – lol! Beauty lies in the eyes of the beholder and so this one is totally different. There is no point in boasting on this because people feel and think different. And people who find you good looking will keep finding it no matter you keep saying it or not. If they don’t, you can’t just change it too.

Some of the typical statements that I have come across which would like to highlight are
- you know how much I earn? … (are they ready to share it?)
- you know my project will not work/run without me… that is a FOOL (who doesn’t realise the things around...Ha-ha)
- you know I am a …(caste/origin) and my family is …(come on…who cares these days?)
- you know I own a multimillion ….(house/car/holiday home/ lan/jewellery…can be any strange thing in this world)…(so….?)
- you know I have been to ….(places) all these places…lovely holidays…(is that a recommendation to visit those places?)
- you know my friends are all ….(who’s who)…(why should I bother?)
- you know I am a great …(singer, dancer, painter, player …flirt…and what not) and won several prizes…(really???...haha)
- you know I have been educated in …(best schools in Universe)…(Ooooo…somehow it doesn’t show!)

This list is just unbounded. I am not saying mentioning about your holidays or your family is just gasconading. I am sure any human being would have been through situations like this and will be smart enough to figure out what I am trying to express here. It is just how you put it and something on the lines of attitude.

I am not trying to say I am the Ms Perfect and Ms Ideal out here. I must have also done my bits of boasting in life which might have well annoyed people. But since when I realised this is something which can really put people OFF I have not done any deliberate efforts to become a braggart! I am sure I will watch myself as far as I can on. If you can’t just take it yourself, how can others?

Unadulterated Carnage – Where is it going?

2008-12-01T02:19:00.001-08:00

Wednesday night when I was catching up on some of the old Koffee with Karan episodes in Youtube, there was a loud wail from SreeRaj – ‘Look at this – Its in Bombay’. It was on the terrorist attacks in TV – the massacre! And Ommy God – it was unbelievable on the first sight. Bullet Sprays! Grenades! Hostages! And what not – Unadulterated Carnage. We watched the live telecast in Sky news for hours and it was heart breaking.

Next day morning in train I got the metro and there was this huge media hype – inferences and interpretations – One of them said the gunmen were typically focusing the Britons/Americans and asking for their passports for verification! And one of the victims told a fellow victim to say he was an Italian if asked – What difference does it make to the gun points? Did they really target foreigners? Then, they could have manipulated something of the same in a foreign country! When you see the plight of innocent inhabitants in the city from here what more can you do rather than worry on the same. I had checked and made sure my friend who has recently settled in Mumbai and her folks are fine. Thank God – though the incident happened near her Bro’s office they were all luckily saved. And she was mentioning that it was a nightmare and everyone is scared to get out of home even now. The recent forecast says 119 dead!!! And rest of the recent news came upon on the Google search, in fact the initial search results are ‘Mumbai Terror Attacks Hit India Tourism at Start of Peak Season’ and ‘Cricket's future in Asia in jeopardy due to terrorist attacks’. Media covers more on the business aspects and in a bigger picture. Now, how long does it take for the city and its inhabitants to come back to normal life? (Typed up until this on 28th, Friday)

The whole milieu around us creates the effect of the Mumbai devastation - an aura of disasters and nightmares. You get to hear about the incident from everywhere – you call back home, friends on phone, e-mails and even someone new you meet in an Asian shop. My colleague was talking about it this morning. Yesterday when we stopped at Spice Lanka for some South-Indian food stuff, we happened to meet a guy who works with the Cleveland Police – and he was saying that he is totally disturbed with the Mumbai attacks and is sticking to VandeMatharam. We realised the effect is not just there – its all over the world! No matter if you are a Mumbai resident or not! However, the death toll has gone up to 200. Thank God, things are almost settled now and it is repairs time now there for people and place.

Mumbai is one of the places which I have always fancied (for a visit/holiday; somehow not to live). I am definitely going to stop over there on my next visit to India – probably April/August. Seems like a long wait for that though.

Well, here is the start of another week. Ooooo….December!!! And 2008 is going to see its end! Should have to think and analyse my year 2008. May be in another piece of writing by the end of this year. Start of December doesn’t seem very favourable for me. My train was delayed for 25 minutes in the morning. It was snowing in the morning and it was absolutely freezing. As the train was late I got into another train; unfortunately it was one of those cross country ones and I didn’t think much. As I purchase advance tickets from Transpennine the Cross Country Company didn’t accept my ticket. The conductor was quite rude and made me buy another one for which my young person’s discount was not accounted. This was when the train was jam packed; he could have easily accepted (I had a ticket though – I wasn’t travelling for free). However, adding on my frustration in the morning the guy who sat next quite annoyed me with his attitude. This is the last thing you want to happen on a snowy Monday morning.

The new Tier Systems

2008-11-21T05:23:00.001-08:00

Well, this week was one of the most confused and indecisive ones. SreeRaj is on a permanent job with an employer’s work permit for the skilled worker. And the leave to remain (called visa) expires on the 31st of December 2008. Our thoughts a couple of years back were to move from UK by the end of this year. But now, we have changed our minds and are likely to be here. So, another couple of year’s extension for this work permit can give us indefinite leave to remain in UK otherwise called Permanent residence (PR- which is different to citizenship). His employer is more than happy to give this extension. As this consultancy group shifted its main base from Netherlands to England, HR department experienced some problems with paper works and they couldn’t apply for the extension earlier (as always!!! I expected this as I had the first hand HR experience –and there is no point in winging or blaming anyone for HR specific paper works).

Meanwhile UK Border Agency has changed the Immigration system to Tier 1, 2, and 5. All the Highly Skilled Migrants Programme (HSMP) people should now be applying through the Tier 1 system whether it is a new application or an extension. A point based system with some bits of difference from the old rules. This one went active on June 2008. One of the striking points of this is on the maintenance funds- the candidate who is applying for Tier 1 should be having at least £800 in his/her bank account EVERYDAY(each single day) for the last 3 months from the time of application. This must have been an unexpected one for quite a few I suppose. And we heard a friend of ours got his application rejected because his account balance was less than £800 for one day in the last 3 months when he made the application; and had to leave UK. And if you have dependants with you, then you should have a maintenance fund of £533 for each dependant; again EVERYDAY for the last three months. Oops– A guy with a wife and 3 children (if above 18) should have £2932!!! Detailed and more information can be obtained from UK Border Agency website. I appreciate the UK Border Agency website as it gives clear cut information including the point’s calculator to check if you qualify for Tier 1 (former HSMP) even if you are from outside of UK.

However, our case falls under the Tier 2 system which is now a new piece of software where the employers can issue a Certificate of Sponsorship (CoS) , a unique number to the skilled worker they wish to keep with them. For this the employer needs to obtain sponsorship license from the UK Border Agency. This makes it extremely difficult for new work permit applications; in fact the UK Border Agency says 200,000 fewer jobs in UK for overseas candidates, with a point’s calculator again. All this is clear and SreeRajs’ employer who has the sponsorship license is all set to go, and we would (hopefully) not have a problem as this is an extension for the existing work permit; also the points based system seems quite favourable for us. To make a new Tier 2 application the employer will have to prove (with solid evidence) to the UK Border Agency that despite numerous efforts to recruit a EU person to the same skilled job (mainly engineering jobs and certain specialist skills), they couldn’t get anyone. And that is the reason they are offering to a non-EU person and hence need a Tier 2 for him/her (no wonder 200,000 fewer jobs!). This online system was expected to go live months back, but unfortunately it didn’t! Now, this is expected to go-live on 27th November midnight. And by 28th November it is expected that SreeRaj will get the CoS, again it is a Friday and may not be very easy to catch hold of people. So, may be on Monday, 1st Dec 2008. But that leaves us only less than a month of leave to remain in UK to make the visa application.

This morning I rang up the UK Border Agency Work Permits Customer Contact Centre in Sheffield to check if this can be an issue; and they confirmed that as long as you have leave to remain in UK this shouldn’t be a problem. But being a sort of person who worries too much, I explained the whole situation to them including our indecisive situation. I was directed to the UK Immigration Services for further clarification which is a 087...number and I got through after half an hour of waiting time. Spoke to one of the Immigration Services Consultant who assured that as long as you have leave to remain in UK you can submit your application and it should be processed normally. And, confirmed that your application will not be rejected on the grounds that you have less than a month to remain in UK. So, that’s how things are at the moment.

However, need to check more on the Tier 1 system regarding the time frame you need to make the visa application. As both of us qualify for the Tier 1 application, in case if the Tier 2 doesn’t work (I am being on the extreme here I know) can go through the Tier 1 system. There had been a lot of thinking and discussions happening over this last week.

Disclaimer: The information presented in this blog are strictly personal opinions and is not a source of any legal information; so no one has the right to use this as any source of proof. Again, these are my personal opinions and hence no one can use this against me in a court of law or in any other way. Thanks.

Options and Priorities - can find a balance?

2008-11-12T08:17:00.000-08:00

These days the normal reads everywhere are on global recession, credit crunch, market crisis and the likes. Any magazine will feature a couple of pages on money saving tips! It ranges from - book your holidays early, eat healthy from local markets, find budget restaurants, switch your energy supplier, hunt for offers and promotions - to the ‘Recession Wear’ in the French capital – new ways to cope by top brands like Louis Vuitton, Carlo Brendalli and many more.

While browsing through Shortlist just got to see a bit of news on Dubai, saying Dubai does culture by investing on an art museum. Good idea for impinging their ethnicity!
It is supposed to be one of the fastest growing cities and is predicted to overrun London by 2012 in business. Main business being tourism and real estate it seems! Oil reserves are not the main catch unlike fellow UAE cities. I guess it already swarmed over London in traffic and accommodation expenses. I have this friend in Dubai who says people who cannot afford homes in Dubai live in Sharjah and drive 3 hours up and down for work (6 hours in road on a good day…I shouldn’t mourn about mine then!). The point to be noted here is that the whole deal is for a 25 km drive. And to avoid the traffic they begin their day at 4 am in cars to their destination and sleep in car parks.

This friend who lives in Dubai on her recent visit, who we call an envoy of the place has tried to sway some of us to move to Dubai. The start was all on congenial aspects of Dubai – the HUGE take home u can dream of (no taxes!!!), any style of living options to choose from in Dubai – posh as well as reasonable (unlike London! She could very well relate it as she was a London resident a couple of years back), shopping options – local as well International, eat outs and nightclubs – from budget Malayali restaurants to Burj Ul Arab, local public schools to Cambridge School and American Univeristies, and on top of all it is only 4 hours away from home land.

As the conversation went on the other side of the coin was also divulged like the learning aspects. It was something personal to this person as she experienced a better learning curve and job satisfaction in UK. There may be difference of opinion on this with many Dubai resident professionals I suppose, not a categorical case here. Especially when Dubai is attracting or I would say buying in specialists and professionals for their Dubai Internet City, Dubai Media City, Dubai Financial Market and the likes. Top IT giants and financial leaders have invested in heavily. Head hunters are on the run it seems even during this ‘recession’! On the investment side, this friend who tried to enter the property ladder was taken a step back when she heard the market price of a single bedroom apartment as 1.3 million. It is not one of the Palm Islands or The World bit by Nakheel! Another point was the expected one on the extreme heat and chilling cold and sudden change of weather conditions. How can you complain too much on weather especially when you are living in North England?

It is shame that we didn’t get to spend a couple more of days in Dubai when we stopped over early this year. All we could do was the Desert Safari and a night drive to the city and both were quite enjoyable. We did recognise the shopping options as we found Debenhams next door to Nalli Silks. What more can you expect in terms of options! And the new International terminal is referred to ‘feel of heaven’ (yet to see this as we found the old one terrible with more living and non-living things than its capacity!). The place and its prospects have the pros and cons like any other place and like what this friend says, it is all on priorities. If this is the time in life when you feel ‘make money’ and you have the right skills, give it a try – may be the best choice for you! This girl guaranteed SreeRaj with three times more take home income (excluding accommodation, medical insurance and yearly travel tickets to base land) for the specialist area of his work and experience. And Projects Management is definitely on demand, so it wouldn’t be hard for me to find a good bargain it seems. It is definitely good to know that you have options; and the stress is again on priorities.

Guy Fawkes this week!

2008-11-06T04:41:00.001-08:00

Guy Fawkes and BonFire was new to me a couple of years back. SreeRaj had explained the Gun Powder Plot and Guy Fawkes story to me in 2006. But then in 2007 when BonFire time came again I asked ‘what is this for?’. Short time memory!!! But in 2008, I could relate some bits and pieces of it. Halloween was pretty quiet for us; you cannot expect much when you live in an apartment. It was last year when we had dozens of kids knocking at your door all dressed for Halloween.

Yesterday there were fireworks held near High Street by Northallerton Council. After a marathon to catch an earlier train to reach home on time to see the fireworks I was too tired to walk to the ground to see this, car parking would have been a nightmare if we opted that. But, I didn’t want to disappoint my better half as it was his birthday; and after all we said council is celebrating his Birthday. So, came home dumped all my stuff, didn’t even bother to change from office wear we did walk to the ground near High Street. It was only a ten minute walk though.

On fireworks, the ones I have come across are with the local festivals like Diwali, Onam etc in India. I was never a big fan of these. I like the light part of it, not the sound at all. But its less of an effect here I guess. Yesterday night was foggy with a little rain as well. I could not have enjoyed a bit of it if not for my jumper, huge winter coat, woollen socks, gloves, hat and boots. Felt a bit comfy!!! I am already into my typical winter style especially at nights if I am out. The sight of fireworks was good. They had half an hr of fireworks followed by the bonfire. There was Guy Fawkes positioned on top of the junk wood!!! The ground was horded with people, never knew there were that many people living in that posh little village. There were these kids with their fluorescent light sticks, all those junky funky star war stuff, balloons, the moon rider and the likes which kept them occupied. Not many little ones seemed to enjoy the fireworks. Some of the kids were bawling hard, ‘I don’t want to see this!!!’. We had plans to catch up some of our friends there, but it wouldn’t have been a facile task to locate anyone in the foggy, rainy night with a flock. So, we walked back home when Guy Fawkes was about to be burned.

Last year we had seen the fireworks held at Saltwell Park which was huge. The one this year was ok with relatively less innovative patterns. However when you have the bigger patterns getting showered on top of your head you tend to enjoy it; I got the feeling that I am getting blessed lots; crazy me! It was even colder that time I guess. But none of them can be compared to the Thrissur Pooram. I have seen it only in TV, but had seen the sample one held there a week before the original Pooram which was the biggest I have ever seen.

November - Melancholy Moods

2008-10-31T08:15:00.001-07:00

Followed by the resume revamp there was an application which I had made on an open internal requirement within my present organisation. I was really interested in the role and this was exactly something to which I wanted to progress in my career. Well, I had invested quite a bit of my time and effort for the application and was very happy when I was successful at the application level. The internal application process is quite complex where you need to clearly describe your competence against the desirable and essential competencies with relevant evidence in the projects. This one had a list of 20+ on which I had spent considerable time on drafting my application. When I had passed the stage of application progress, I had a serious thought on this and did a quality preparation for the interview as I knew progressing from an analyst role to a manager role is not that easy within any organisation.

You expect certain type of ‘usual’ questions in any interviews. For example, ‘tell me about yourself; tell me about your present job’. But in this case the interview style was quite different on very high application level questions. The interview lasted for more than an hour and by the time I was out of the room, I realised I was sweating and drained out. Is that nerves??? May be…But then, I am sure I didn’t have a confidence problem. Also, I had done my home work for the preparation too. Each of the questions made me think and think, speak up and almost give alternate options for all answers. It was mentioned during the start that there are no right/wrong answers or tricky questions. It was just to know how you suit to the proper project management role. However, after the interview I was very happy that I got a chance to experience such a drilling down interview and expected a very good feedback even if I was rejected. But then, yesterday afternoon while I was on a middle of my ‘Presentation Skills’ training from Bray Leino I was offered this role…WOOHOO!!! Was excited …wanted to share the good news with SreeRaj; who was busy so left a voice mail. He was pleased and gave me a call back later. Then, spoke to Mums/Dads and was then settled for a bit. May be that I was so excited I couldn’t think straight during the training course. I had accepted the offer later on in the evening. Now, it’s left with my present and future line managers to negotiate start date, hand over contracts and the likes.

Talking about the course on Bray Leino Presentation Skills: There were times in my life when I used to run away from stages, presentations and talking in public. But then this has changed over the time. But then can’t really say that I have always delivered effective and impressive presentations. This may be due to a variety of reasons, say the strength of content, organisation and plan of presentation, style and of course knowledge of audience too. But then there were times when I was specifically recognised for my presentation skills during my previous jobs and MBA course.

The training with Bray Leino was more or less an eye opener. You have numerous things to improve on and it works on a CI theory – Continuous Improvement. It was more or less proved to you through your presentations. My presentation to the training group on the first day bagged me a good mix of positive and negative feedback. No, you should say ‘can improve on’ rather than negative. The feedback touched out on all aspects ranging from the theme of your presentation to the timbre of your voice. You analyse yourself after the presentation and you realise from the group feedback that you weren’t that awful as you thought. The basic principle is the horizontal plan and then PRACTICE, PRACTICE, PRACTICE. I think the same logic applies to report writing as well.

One of the interesting sessions was on the tapping therapy, emotional freedom techniques and much more. I am not entirely sure on the extent to which you can rely on them, but then may be it works as its all about nerves and your brain. The emphasis all the way was on confidence. I have realised how my confidence levels have gone high over the years. I can handle people and even crowds, talk talk and talk. But then there is always this element of confidence which I seem to be missing occasionally – especially when you think, ‘Oh, I am going to look stupid!, What would they think of me?’ ‘Am I saying the right thing?’…But then, no one expects you to be perfect. As long as I am not in a debate I have taught myself to handle these situations – whether it is work related or not. In a debate, I often feel it is always the ego in you make you work which is sometimes good.

I am vaulting from topics after topics for no reason. May be that’s the Friday effect. The weekend is not planned at all. Halloween night today, and this is not making a big difference with us. I completely forgot about Halloween and realised it when I got a free crème egg along with Yorkshire metro today morning. It is too cold to go out and do something actually; the weekend doesn’t seem to be any better too. But I am expecting some kids from the neighbourhood for chocolates. And the cooking bit tonight as SreeRaj is back home after 3 days in Birmingham and is complaining on the food he had to have for the past 2-3 days. So, that’s it for the week. Had an eventful week! - Interview, Good news on a friend who is blessed with a baby, a bit of sad news on a friend who is returning to India finishing contract in UK, Interview Results and so much more I am pleased that I found out the result of the interview otherwise I would have at least thought about it during the weekend. It’s start now- November, it is said that melancholy moods are associated with this month. Quite suits for this winter (supposedly autumn)!

The Driving Force

2008-10-21T04:14:00.001-07:00

Existence of God is a widely discussed topic. I am not in an attempt to question it as I believe it does and personally speaking it is something beyond belief. The association with God and religion is something different; or rather the associates make it increasingly confusing.

Having been brought up in a traditional Hindu family in India, I worship Hindu Gods and came across more on Hinduism. In most cases you tend to follow what you are exposed to and inherit your family traits more. I am not for or against idol worship too, after all effigies are one of the best ways of representation. I personally feel religion, God and ways of worship are all means to engage you to some driving force. I am sure the ultimate aim of this was always to make good human beings; if not ideal (not anything less!). Civilised and Humane! However, the disputes on religion have been frolic always. I don’t see any religion inferior; my understanding is that all of them preach the same. I have done my 10 years of schooling with a Christian Missionary; this didn’t make me look upon my religion as inferior or superior. I believe in Lord Shiva, Krishna in the same way as Christ and Allah. But, the way you do things would be in the way you are used to. When I am in panic, I would obviously say, “ende Krishna”…However, when I was in school there was this influence from friends which made me use ‘karthave’ to a good extent; that’s influence. I believe there is a God, the driving force which is ascribed to ‘Energy’ by analysts in relation to this. Energy involved in the process of prayers has been proved in many places, not the magic of God or religion.

Having been interacting with a wide range of people, I have felt differences with the way people from different religions act and think. But, it is certainly not to do with their religion, it attributes to their environments. If you are taught to see a religion as a nemesis and if you have not got enough exposure to experience the world, you may do that. That is not anyone’s fault, it is just circumstances and the perseverance continues to a point where it is no longer appropriate.

Having said all this what I realise is there is not a single day in my life I have been disconnected from the driving force. I have my little Krishna locket in my chain which I am hesitant to remove no matter what like my thali (mangalsutra – tie of togetherness). The little Krishna is there with me in my chain for ages, I don’t remember when I started having it with me. It has seen all the places I have seen in my life. I am sure that it is a superstition, but it is for my comfort and confidence. Why do I still say ‘touchwood’ and do touch even now? And, on thali it is not a mandatory thing to wear these days, at least not many does. Same with the wedding ring too. And my husband is not emphatic on these; but then, I haven’t removed them since my marriage. Sometimes I can sense the odd look or out of place state of them with my dress and costumes. But then, I guess I got so used to them. However, on the sindoor (the red mark you hold on your forehead) I am not a prompt person as I forget it when I get dressed. And never got this ‘must-do’ feels for that.

You change according to the circumstances in life, may be not with your belief but with how you go by it. When, I was in India my day was not complete without a visit to the temple nearby my house. I managed to get it done at least in the morning or in the evening for the prayers. And, if I felt lazy for and didn’t do it for a day, I used to feel a sense of fear or rather lack of confidence. Even then I knew they were all superstitions. But somehow was so used to the system. On leaving the city to Bangalore initially, I missed my routine but had no option to do the same. There were temples around, but then hardly got chance to visit them expect on occasions like birthdays and the likes. On leaving the country, I have not had a chance to experience a temple I was used to (except the Balaji temple in Birmingham). Here, the concept of temple is different, it is rather a place to get together; more like cultural centres. But they maintain idols, do the prayers, celebrate festivals and much more. I do appreciate the attempt, but my concept is different. I know I should not complain much as you can’t expect your style everywhere.

But, at home I do have my little idols and a smaller version of Pooja room where I do the same which I am used to for ages. I try my best to light the viliakku (a traditional lamp, which signifies prosperity) and do my regular prayers if I am IN station. The time for regular prayers has decreased from 30 minutes (years back) to less than 5 minutes these days. And, I do push SreeRaj also if he is around (which works sometimes!). I haven’t been doing this for the past one week the reason being we were out of station on the weekend; and yesterday I realised there are no more matches in the matchbox. Being non-smokers should not be a reason for not having a cigarette lighter at home, but I realised we don’t have one. The same situation has happened in our previous homes; but I had the option to light a candle from my gas stove for a solution. The new home has this electric hob which doesn’t allow me to do that. Another wild solution is to light a paper from the electric hob which takes ages and then to transfer it to a candle. This is too much of a process and risk involved is on the high side, also for the fire alarm which is waiting for a loud outburst. In short, have to get the matches shortly!!!

A positive note on the weekend

2008-10-17T04:01:00.001-07:00

More than a half of October is gone by this weekend. This week was well occupied in office as well as at home, not very much snowed under though. I prefer it to be busy at office. Sometimes I feel I work better under pressure. Anyhow, it is not the same at home. The to-do list for both of us is getting bigger and bigger which ranges from the weekly grocery shopping to some major paper works we need to get moving. I can’t figure out if this is because we are busy or lazy. May be just not both. Last night I switched my laptop on to get some ‘urgent’ work done when SreeRaj wanted me to get the ball rolling on the to-do list. But, later half an hour he found me discussing on a lasagne recipe with a friend online. So, I think I am not busy…lazy neither!!! But I saw some tick marks in the list today morning which means we managed to set the ball in motion yesterday night. Or may be I dreamt…or just my positive semi-conscious mind visualised some tick marks when I switched on the kettle for morning tea. Kettle did the job well, but the milk was OFF...what a Friday!

This weekend is something we were looking forward to since a friend of us organised a get together at their place in York. There would hardly be anyone who would not enjoy this friend’s culinary skills. York is one of the top tourist attractions in the country, but if you get to know this friend of ours you would have no doubt in ranking them and their culinary skills as the top attraction of the place. Get togethers are always fun with loads of food, board games, outdoor games (!!!), gossips, sleepless nights and much more. But this time the gang (not all) have decided to pick up funny snapshots of the gang and do a collective fun with that. Well, they cannot be referred to as funny; embarrassing would be a better term of use. I was supposed to be doing that but have not yet started. Tonight!!! The interesting part of this is I bag the highest number of embarrassing pictures and I realise that if I do a quality work on this, it is going to bite me back. But never mind this time! And, there are some pretty ‘decent’ ones in the gang who doesn’t have funny pictures at all…How boring people!!! And this week the girls in the gang did make an effort to dig out some and came up with acceptable ones. There are these girls who have supplied funny pictures of their guys which will be a shock to them. Hope not to see many attractions of domestic fights tomorrow!

Resume Revamp!

2008-10-14T05:58:00.001-07:00

I am on a resume revamp this week.

The first time I put down something together for a resume was during the final year of my Engineering while registering for Shreds! The concept of CV was sort of new then; to confess the one made was more or less similar to a senior student’s CV I referred to. That time CV focused on semester marks, mini projects and major projects, learnt (!) programming languages and so on.

However, this was more than enough for campus recruitments for IT companies then since they look at your academics percentage scores, technical interview, language test, group discussions etc. Happily contented after the first job CV was never touched until I started making applications to Universities in UK for my MBA. It was not just a CV act, instead statement of purpose, applications, interviews and so on which made sense on what is getting done. But here things are different; you have a clear idea on what you want to pursue, which aspect of management you would want to take further and see what the University offers. And clearly indicate how well you are suited on taking such a course. If everything ties in together only you need to invest your time on an application. Personally I don’t feel one does need to make millions of applications for a foreign MBA and wait for something to click. By the time you are into the MBA hunt, you would have an idea on what is where and if that’s for you. Having the limitation of location to North East England I didn’t have to worry much on my ‘choice’ problem here. However, I was put down by one of the Universities indicating my lack of full-time experience required for the MBA they offered. But, never mind I was offered a more ‘convenient’ one and I realised that was exactly what I wanted.

Then started the days of job hunt and working on resume. Resume is something which you can keep on working with. There are some areas of resume which you don’t change much like your education, personal details, membership of professional bodies etc. But if you are applying for a specific job you need to put in quite a considerable amount of work on the supporting information sometimes referred to as additional information. How you are suited for the job, what are the skills you can demonstrate for the role, how much experience you have in that, what are your areas of expertise and how well that fits in for the job role; even though they don’t align directly with the essential and desirable competencies of the role. Explain how you can make a difference or add value to the employer. Then if the competencies are well stated and if you know you don’t meet more than a third of them then effective utilisation of time, resources and reputation will be not to make an application for that. Though you are sure that you meet all the essential and desirable competencies for a role most of the cases you would not get an interview call unless you make a strong application, a strong kick off.

It has been a long since I revamped my resume. It is not very old though as it has been only 7 months I am in my new role. But there are provocations to revamp my resume now, overhaul time… on the lighter side!!! Three years of full-time employment experience; I consider the year of MBA education as experience and I can very well demonstrate that. And how can you be expected to retreat your three years in no more than three pages???

Seasons..signs of winter!!!

2008-10-09T04:00:00.000-07:00

It is just amazing how seasons change with little notice. From bright sun to foggy mornings and chilling days…

What do I like about winter???
Not a big fan of winter; but I can still figure out some things which I like about the season.
The ‘five more minutes’ in mornings when you tend to snuggle under your duvet without realising the clock hands
Designer scarves, Boots, Cardigans!!!!!!!!!!!!
Winter holidays (not winter sports!)
Christmas lights and Christmas shopping, especially the ‘SALE’ boards
And then you have the New Year!

Well, what do I hate most about winter???
Depressing darkness and dullness!!!

Having been not out of South India during my life in India, the concept of seasons was quite different to me. Snow was only in pictures and movies for me. I was excited on my first sight of snow here. But I guess you tend to lose that excitement when you get to see it a couple of times. But I am sure I was excited and enjoyed the snow during my first Christmas in Europe; Swiss Alps…wow, it was amazing!
We stayed in our first home for a year and got to experience the season creep from the same house. The shrub on our front green was all golden and red by the time we moved in slowly shedding off with just stems like a deteriorated skeleton in the lab. Then it came up like a baby with pleasant light green shades of beautiful leaves and slowly darkened and flowered on white and pink over the days. But then, it was time for us to move out!!! I found the changes quite interesting in the first year. But, now getting exposed to my third winter (supposed to be autumn now) here and I think you just get used to it.

How do you realise you have grown matured???

2008-10-07T04:53:00.001-07:00

The term ‘matured’ had been thrown at me a good couple of times last week in different contexts. Some of them were just trying to remind me I am growing older and others trying to point out that I have changed. And this made me think!!! This is what you do if you are left home alone for a week I guess.
Well, I can’t really figure out clear differences yet.
My mother never agrees to the relation between me and the term ‘matured’. She is the typical ‘Mother’ who still worries on everything. I am sure she doesn’t realise I have grown up.
My husband…actually it doesn’t make a big difference with him I guess. He is happy with the way things are. He does mention that I have become wiser in dealing with people.
My friends: well different perspectives. Those who know me well, who make genuine efforts to be in touch with me has not figured out any changes somehow. They still say I am monkeying around.
People who were out of touch for a while have figured out changes which are not very pleasing.

Well, on a bit of self-analysis:
Basics has not changed I believe.
Transition from a daughter to a wife was the biggest change I would say. Been always within the protective shield of a conservative family and an even more conservative Dad. But then, they did teach me to think…or I inherited it from that lovely couple. I had the freedom to think and express my views, but the decision was always by the High Command which need not be my view always (the reason he gives me now is that he didn’t want me to make mistakes). But then can’t really complain much on it now as nothing turned out bad to me.
The two gentlemen in my life are distinctly different. My better half is just on the opposite leaving the buffer space for me to learn from mistakes. But supporting on my side when I learn hard. He doesn’t decide things for me, on the contrary acts as the consultant giving me the pros and cons to decide. I think it used to be easy with Achan where you just need to go by things. But now, I am forced to think and decide. Certainly not a complaint as I prefer this any day. This way I have changed. But still, I am not sure if this can be related to being matured.

Yeah, there are things which have changed:
Just stopped going along with the flow I guess, I have thought on what I want to do and how to work towards that
Just don’t simply break into tears when someone shouts at me, though still slow to react
Just don’t act different when I want to show uneasiness which was referred to as ‘inwardly-outwardly’ once upon a time. Now, if I don’t want, I don’t want! If I don’t like, I don’t like
I can think of many more, but then too lazy to pen them down now.
But does this makes one matured???

I still remember my class tutor scribbling in my autograph book when I was leaving school, ‘Maturity doesn’t come with age, it comes with acceptance of responsibility’.

Anne Frank's House

2008-10-06T04:45:00.001-07:00

While choosing books I am not really particular on types of them, I try to get a taster session on most of the types. And there are many I have left at many stages of the book and never regretted much on that. I have tried reading Anne Frank’s diary years back and I left it somewhere in the middle as it didn’t keep me well engaged at that time. May be the reason is there were some clashing priorities or had to return the book to my friend whom I had borrowed it from. I clearly remember this one was on high demand and was on a circulation list. However, the bottom line is I didn’t get a chance to do it.

On our recent trip to Amsterdam, we visited Anne Frank’s House which is now one of the most popular and top tourist attractions in Europe. It is done quite well!!! It does evoke some feelings of depression to you. When you are on your city breaks especially with the complete mind set of a tourist, this is something highly unlikely to happen to you; at least to us. Usually on trips, especially on city breaks and the likes you would be quite enthusiastic and would be in a run to experience the most you can from the new place. Especially with a city like Amsterdam where you have the floating flower markets, lovely canals and amazing night life with the red light district and the likes very little do you expect to experience something of a sad bit. However, we had decided to visit Anne Frank’s Museum after the Van Gogh and Rijks Museum. SreeRaj bought entry tickets to Anne Frank’s Museum online and I was just oki about it. Give me the choice of a scenic country side, a new city centre shopping, nice garden and a museum, the last one would be of my least preference. Well, Anne Frank’s house is one of the unique experiences I would say; quite touching. And now I badly wanted to go back to the book and start all over again.

Anne Frank’s House is a well kept museum now. The same place where the group hid from the Germans has been preserved along with some of the original sheets from Anne’s diary. It is one of the typical Dutch styles of houses where you have steep stairs with relatively higher number of steps…oh, it is really unique and takes a bit of time to get used to it. However, we managed to visit all floors of the house. They have managed to take you through all stages of her diary through the different floors like someone is narrating the whole episode for you. They have done videos, pictures and in fact quoted some of the catching lines on the walls. You get to see the rooms, the amenities they had (though not great a thing to see) and in fact you can really put those words into pictures there as if things are happening right in front of you. No one needs to sit and rewind the mental time machines there; it is just like a live scenario put in front of you. It takes you through whole of their hiding time through to the betrayal and their arrest from the bottom to the top floor of the building. Finally, the building talks about the concentration camps and the death of the family including Anne due to typhus. The last part is about a video on Otto Frank, Anne’s father who survived the period.

We spent around two hours in the Museum and this was done on our last night in Amsterdam. It was a little depressing, but it was one of those unique Museums and I would surely recommend this as a place worth visiting. Well, it is commercialised too! You can buy Anne Frank’s diary in all the languages it has been translated to, souvenirs, post cards, video messages and so on. This one is on my next to-read list! Right now what keeps me awake in trains is the ‘Clear Light of day’ by Anita Desai taking you through the Old and New Delhi, Indian traditional families, its beauty and hardness. Will write more once it is over.

Boredom Blues!!!

2008-10-01T01:14:00.001-07:00

• When you wanted to wear salwar kameez at the age 3-4 have you realised there would be a time in college when you get bored of wearing salwar kameezes!!!
• When you wanted to become a Doctor in your childhood just to give injections to people you hated, have you realised you would absolutely hate Biology and anything related to that
• When you were sick of home many times have you ever realised that you would have terrible home-sickness in your life which no one could help
• When you wanted to do some experimental cooking and your mother didn’t let you, have you ever thought there would be a day you would be sick of your own cooking and badly want your mother’s meals.
• When you badly wanted to get rid of some people from your life have your ever expected even in your dreams that they would become your best mates
• When you believed some people to be your good friends have you ever expected that they would cheat on you
• When you first spoke to someone and felt ‘oh…not my type’ have you realised that’s your man/woman and the most wonderful person in the world.
• When you blamed your father for being strictly conservative and boring, have you later felt he was right on ‘some’ of them
• When you longed to wear suits and formals while in Uni, have you ever thought you would be bored with those costumes in no time and want to get back to your funky casuals
• When you were forced to attend marriages/parties have you ever realised you would long for one of those kind sometime
• When you believed marriage take your freedom off, have you realised that you would ‘discover’ freedom and feel it after your marriage.
• When you were certain on being the bride maids for your siblings/mates, have you thought you could be stopped from attending those marriages
• When you hated your schools/colleges/Unis, were you ready even to think that you will miss it sometime
• When you hated your long and thick hair in school, have you thought that someday you will fancy it
• When you fancied aeroplanes in your early years, have you known flight journeys would be the most hated journeys when you grow up
• When you were busy working late nights and weekends, have you ever thought you will be bored and asking for assignments on a normal week day
• When you tried to be away from your better half to chill out with your family and friends, have you realised that you will miss him/her in no time

This will go on to a never ending list if I don’t stop now…This is the effect of ennui on me! Boredom Blues!!!….I am going to set my alarm at five past six and going to take a nap. My train reaches my home station at ten past 6 and I will be fresh by the time I get off. And I need to go to library and get some good books to engage me for the rest of the week

Starting Up In India : up to speed with Technology

2008-09-29T02:12:00.000-07:00

Having spent more than one-third of an average life cycle in India, my perception on getting paper works processed through Government of India is time consuming and a challenge sometimes. No offence here as I used the phrase ‘perception’. And I haven’t really had to do such a thing before. But, have heard and read on the bureaucratic environments; again the tendency is to publicise the ‘wrongs’ more and the ‘rights’ often get less attention.

However, recently I have come across the website of Ministry of Corporate Affairs (MCA), Government of India and it made me really proud. High on professional standards!!! Have always perceived that a way forward in getting a Pvt Ltd company registered in India would be quite challenging especially if people involved are non-resident Indians. But then things have been made simple unlike historical times and you can get clear-cut information from the MCA website. There are options to process the Director Identification Number (DIN) and Digital Signature Certificate (DSC) online. It seems it would take about a month to get this processed and you can in fact check the progress of the application online. Though these are the initial steps in getting the registration you find it quite promising and supportive with these facilities. Professional consultation and an efficient CA can make things better for you in terms of required documents and right tools.

The opening page of MCA website directs you to the links for DIN, DSC etc, where to download the documents, how to process them and in fact a vivid and precise information on how you should proceed with your application. What that’s most effective about the process is the person who wants to do this need not be present everyday in those Government offices day in and out pleading to the records guy to the hierarchy of top officials. I have heard it’s a nightmare to get a birth certificate sorted sometimes!

For a company to be incorporated in India, if the directors are not based in India it used to take ages to get the process accomplished (hearsays and read information). But, now the Government has made a sincere effort to ease things for this. Obviously time will be a factor if Directors and company secretary are not on-site, but still in the present situation the memorandum and articles to be stamped can be done within a week if overseas Directors can sign off the necessary documents on time. The rest of the documents can be uploaded online for further processing. It is really amazing that the country is up to speed with technology and quite encouraging people for start ups. And many people who have successfully passed this phase through online have mentioned that the services are quite commendable if the right methods and tools are adopted for the process. Total transparency through e-Governance is something MCA promises. This is actually a bit of read knowledge; I think it would obviously be great if there is a handle onsite as there may be many unforeseen needs when you are through the process.

CHOICE!!!

2008-09-24T01:28:00.001-07:00

My train journeys aren’t that boring these days. I have started practising for my driving theory test last week under the assumption that I have booked the test for the last Saturday. But, on Friday night I discovered that it is only this Saturday.
However, out of the 10+ sections I have not even covered more than a half. And the results of my mock tests are not very promising too.

I know I have this problem with choice. I hate exams with multiple choice ‘likely to be’ answers. Being vulnerable to baffling, I tend to change my decisions. Ask me to choose my dinner from the menu card of a restaurant which gives u fantastic options, I take ages to choose. Many times I have felt, I should have opted the ‘other’ one. I think that is the common feeling of ‘grass on the other side is greener’.
Give me a choice of good movies to watch; again I experience the choice problem!
Give me a choice of good books to read; sometimes I spent ages in library choosing the books to take home unless I have gone for something specific. Having read the summary of many by then I would sometimes have got things mixed up in my mind.
Give me a choice of places to visit, I think again and again and sometimes would go somewhere not even in the list (that isn’t a typical choice problem). And the shopping, it’s a big story!!! Though I have something specific to get, I get biased by choice most of the times and would come up with totally different stuff.

However, on the theory test for this Saturday I haven’t read the DVLA guide yet. It’s the best sleeping pill I have ever had in my life. Let it be a moving train or my study table at home the guide puts me to sleep within minutes. So, I have decided to practice by mock tests. 40 minutes for 35 questions. For some reason, I finish off a test in no more than 10-12 minutes. My scores aren’t that great too (having done about 6 tests). Not looking forward to the test, but it would be a relief to get it done with. But the trauma never ends as the next stage will be the practicals!!!

Credit Crunch!!!

2008-09-18T06:15:00.001-07:00

Credit Crunch, Inflation, Flexible housing market, job losses and the list goes on..

You get to experience the inflation and credit lunch when you buy your groceries from a super market. For a simple example, the cost of a breakfast bagel increased by 10p overnight…And media covers hugely on housing markets now, which puts you into a dilemma to make a prudent decision especially to enter the property ladder for a first time buyer. Construction industries are on a clear slow down and many jobs were made redundant.

Yorkshire metro today covers on the proposed takeover of HBOS by Lloyds TSB leading to speculated job losses of over 40000 and 1000 branch closures. HBOS is one of the likes of student friendly bankers offering over drafts of over £3000. I quote, “Kevin Mountford of money supermarket.com has warned that a shotgun wedding would stifle competition”. The American colloquial phrase is well used here.

Experts in the corporate industry stress on no job-switches and resignations presently as it’s a volatile situation. Employers tend to make redundant the roles with ones with relatively less experience. Recruitment seems on a slow down with many industries especially IT, finance, construction and manufacturing and so with graduate schemes. I am unsure on referring this to ‘recession’. It certainly is a slow down but we need to wait and see how long the situation stays.

2008-09-12T07:13:00.000-07:00

Thiruvonam today! The traditional Kerala festival. From a traditional point of view, it’s the harvest festival indicating prosperity. Like any other festival, there is a story behind the celebration related to King Mahabali and Vamanan; class literature comprising an elegant work with an imaginative narration.

Well, I have come across several Onams by now. There were no big differences in the way the festival used to be with me for 21 years. It always used to be fun and lively with people around, new clothes and gifts and the great Onam vacation too. Generally, back in Kerala Onam is a family centered festival where on the Thiruvonam day the whole family gets together and have the sadhya (Onam feast) together. But, mine was always different. Maternal grandparents passed away long back and been living with a wall away from paternal side the concept of get together on Thiruvonam had less significance. We used to have the small kind of Onam at our own homes. Myself and my father not being very fond of Onam sadhya and the delicasy, payasam my mother never bothered much to make big feasts on the day. However, on the 4th Onam day my paternal side family gets together for Onam at grandmother’s place. Good fun, excellent food and much more will be the attractions of the day.

But things were quite different during my early years of Onam as far as I remember. My mother insisted on a strict vegetarain diet for 10 days from ‘Atham’ and encouraged me to make Pookalam (the floral designs) at our home. And Amma made me believe that King Mahabali would come to visit us, probably disguised and watch how things are and how good kids are. I used to believe that and made sure I was good all the time. And in Kerala, we have these people asking alms visiting homes on special days as it’s a good catch then. When we get these kind of people on Onam days I used to think that may be Mahabali. We even had these people having meals from our home on Onam days.

Another attraction of Onam time is the shopping. My parents were not very specific on getting me new stuff on special occasions. But, being the youngest of a generation at paternal side and the single girl in maternal side I was always pampered by grandparents, uncles and aunts. I was never short of gifts, new clothes, pocket money etc on festivals and occasions. Well, I should say my parents also did many times.

Well, on school days we had Onam exams just before Onam. I used to hate those exams. Our school had this system of excusing us from school uniforms on the re-opening day after Onam and Christmas holidays. And we girls used to wait and wait for those days to wear ‘colour dress’ and show off on new clothes. By the time you enjoy your Onam vacation and get back to school you have your Onam results waiting for you….ooohh, it helps to get out of your Onam hangover.

Systems changed slowly along with age and attitude. The strict vegetarian diet was skipped, pookalams were not made, Mahabali became a fictional character, became less bothered on sadhya, Onam exams were not an issue….But, gifts and new clothes never stopped reaching me and so are get togethers. But still, the feel of Onam was very good even though you don’t do much about it. Amma still made sure myself and Achan takes a head bath, we do our prayers and maintain a strict vegetarain diet atleast on Thiruvonam day. Sometimes we will have my maternal Uncles and families spending the day with us if any of them are in town (out of the four). One of my elder Uncles who is still single make sure that he spends at least a day with me during Onam.

During teenage there were million other things to think and plan about during the time, will be more of a holiday mood than a festive mood… Those silly movies and books you fancy, those gossips, those million crushes you have that time and so on. During college days, it will be more of catching up with friends during Onam holidays. By that time you would be less worried on exams and. But still, Onam was always nice with the lights in town, shopping, friends and family, get togethers, new clothes and so on.

Now, miles away from Kerala I realise Onam was much more that what I had ever thought. I do miss it. Especially when talking to people back there, everyone seems busy and talking about ‘Onam’. I feel the festivity spirit and celebrations have got a bit of increase these years; or may be that I miss it more now. Both Mums made sure that I get new clothes for Onam and asked me to wear new ones to office today. When we rang the youngest member of the family for giving our wishes, the five year old little boy complained for not getting him new clothes. And we realised that festive spirit out there. Those loving forwards wishing you on occasions sent by friends and family never had such a big impact on me unlike yesterday when I received one of those Onam wishes. It was just simple 4 lines in Malayalam fonts wishing you Onam and rewinding your time machines to your childhood. I could sense something void much more than ever. On the other side, I am so happy that this is our 2nd Onam together!!! It would have been much worse if we missed each other.

However, this year is relatively better than last year as I don’t have a dissertation deadline during the days. The plan is to get together tomorrow, on 4th Onam with friends to have some fun. Onam sadhya is a challenge and I am still collecting recipes from Mums. The girls are on a combined effort to make more than 20+ dishes before 12 noon. Ethnic wear is a mandatory part for tomorrow; and pookalams are still in thoughts.

Also, this month marks the beginning of Malayalam New Year; and quite excited about that. New Years are always good; makes me feel fresh and very positive.

2 Years of 2getherness!!!

2008-09-12T01:07:00.000-07:00

2 Years of 2getherness

10 Sep 2008 marked two years of our married life. We celebrated the day in style…in fact had a good five days in Amsterdam and Paris…
And we did rewind our memories for the past 2-3 years…And realised how much our lives changed, on a day to day basis as well as on a bigger picture…Woah, it was a big change experienced in a light way…

Paris is the most beautiful city I have ever seen. Hoping to do a travelogue before I forget the details of the trip. Well, Amsterdam has its own charm too.

The Phase of Job Search

2008-09-02T08:40:00.000-07:00

Do you think you qualify for a job when u see a job advert? How sure are you that you get shortlisted?? If so, how sure are you that you get an offer after the interview??? After the interview, how sure are you that you will get an offer????

Well, in my limited experience this is something highly unpredictable. During the course of business education in UK, I was turned down by many employers indicating that they don’t have part time positions available; and for those responsible roles they were after talents who completed their studies. I waited for the completion of my course to approach the biggies. Meanwhile one of the market research companies occupied me as a research assistant for 2 months. This was quite handy near my home and it was only 15 hrs a week. This was my first job in UK and it bagged me a good exposure and more than that a referee to confirm that I am not unknown in this country in an employer perspective. It did get me some pocket money too…

I was delighted when I got a chance to do my dissertation with my University in one of their projects. Three months of dissertation, sometimes called thesis!!!
First month was just simply research, which I should confess that I didn’t do much. As it was just after the exams, it was taking a ‘break’. And meanwhile I approached many of the biggies in the country for a ‘MBA’ job. There is no clue on the number of applications I made. I would say a 50% of them didn’t even respond to me. Another 30% of them apologised saying that I didn’t have ‘commercial’ experience in this country and so they couldnt take me in. I wondered how this so called commercial experience can be experienced unless some one employs me? Rest of them came back and told me that they didn’t have roles that suited my profile then and would be in touch if something comes up. And I had this particular constraint of ‘location’ while applying for jobs as I wanted something local in and around North East England. When it comes to job market in North East, it is generally dull except for the industrial and chemical ones. These were one of the testing times in life. However, I wasn’t realising that days were getting numbered for my dissertation submission. Some evening say by early August I still remember SreeRaj commenting “ if this is the way you go by your dissertation work, I don’t see you submitting this year or getting the degree this year. Don’t worry, you can submit in Aug 2008...just another year”. This is his usual polished way of analysing and commenting on critical situations. There was this deep chill in me then. But he is the assurance master!!! “You still have time, almost 1 more month as the submission is only on 31st”, after I broke down to tears.

Having embarked on the project with a serious head, I realised how much of a work it was!...it was a huge piece of work and no way to lessen it as I was doing it for the University (voluntary though). I had these sleepless nights from there on. I managed to pass on the tension to my friend regarding the dissertation and triggered him too..Woohoo, I think I am good at that. The data collection for the project was a nightmare; had to do surveys, interviews, workshops, documentation, references and what not. At each point I realised again and again how late I was for this and was convinced that it could have been done much better if started a bit earlier. However, I did invest a lot of effort to get things done as I didn’t want to do it once more with a year of waiting. And finally the analysis, with SPSS. Lack of time didn’t get me to utilise the tool as intended. I managed with Microsoft products instead wherever possible. However, the final report was composed on 29th night and given for binding on 30th. Handed over on 30th, see a day in advance….

Meanwhile my first full-time job started on August 20th, 2007 with National Health Services. The application for this job was done sometime in June-July and I got an interview call unexpectedly in between the dissertation work; that too with 3 days notice. Preparation for the interview and dissertation went hand in hand on those days… However, things fell in place altogether at the end.

For this job, when I looked at the person specification, I was close to the requirements. But I did many applications in which I met all the requirements and some in which I exceeded the requirements. Unfortunately, none of them went productive. However, this application was done with little hope and interview was another story. SreeRaj drove me to Newcastle for my interview which was 40+ miles from home. Almost done 35 miles of driving and there goes an accident to the car infront of us. Luckily we were saved. Road Closed board infront of us and we were stuck! I couldn’t make it for the interview and thought that’s gone that way. But, luckily they were kind enough to re-schedule the interview for me to another date. I managed to travel myself to Newcastle this time in bus and figure out my interview venue. One hour of questioning, answering, discussing; I was left free and 3 days later I was offered the role. What would I say??? Was in 7th heaven; first job (the proper kind of full-time employment).

Eight months later: Applied for another interesting role with the same employer, but in a different business sector. I was sure I met the person specification for this role, but wasn’t sure if I would get an interview. But, I did. The interview was more focused and organised than I had expected. I didn’t realise that the clock hands turned for more than 270 degrees during the process and after the interview I didn’t know how to explain how it was. I didn’t hear anything back from them for more than a week. After a long wait, they offered me a role which was a band higher than what I had applied for. I was more than delighted this time. I was supplied the job description and person specification for this role on request during my notice period and I could fit into most of the requirements. Now, 6 months in the same role, I am on a steep learning curve and enjoying it.

2008-09-01T02:13:00.000-07:00

Weekends go off by the time you open and close your eyes. Got a full weekend at home after ages. SreeRaj wanted to be OFF on rest mode completely. However on Saturday we went for a walk on Northallerton High Street where the local markets are done. The grab of the day was fresh fruits and vegs.

On Sunday we went to the Asian shop in Middlesbrough, Spice Lanka!!! planning on Onam Sadhya at home is the plan for Onam this year . I always feel its easier to cook anything else other than the traditional Malayali dishes. Any other cuisine, esp non-veg you can somehow manage at the end (mostly by renaming the dish!!!). But the Malayali dishes Ommy God, it requires a lot of expertise. Initial days, I used to believe that lack of authentic taste is because of the products we get here are different from those back in India. But that’s not right, its just the lack of expertise in using those I guess as we have had the proper authentic dishes from experienced hands here. I am not a big fan of this feast and I have never finished one in style. This happens every time if you give me a choice. But dishes in sadhya are not a matter of choice; the ideal way is to have each and every dish, that too in the right order. However, I have tried Onam sadhya only once before and it was for just me and SreeRaj. But this time, its for more than 10+ people and we intend to ‘celebrate’ Onam at our place. SreeRaj has this default answer of ‘Sadhya’ if you ask him of his favourite food. And I guess most of the Mals who are out of Kerala enjoys sadya. You tend to appreciate things more if you don’t get them often.

There was this big list of to-do for this weekend including packing for next weekend to catching up with friends on phone. Between us we managed to get 50% of it done. Had hop-on and hop-offs online too. Altogether, the weekend went off so fast.

On this bright Monday morning, my week kicks off. Its Health Week for my team..I can see red and green grapes, carrots, celery and apples on our food corner. Pears, Nectarines and much more to come. I was supposed to bring in bananas and baby corn. Unfortunately we didn’t do our super market shopping this weekend and I completely missed out on this. Will sort it out during lunch today. I can also see a chocolate box in the food corner. Twirls, Flakes….yummy!!! Lets see how the health week progress…

Customer is God, Service is Worship!!!

2008-08-29T02:54:00.000-07:00

Talking about customer service, I got to experience some of the best customer services in UK. But, unfortunately an interaction with Tiscali Broadband services has made me furious on many days in the past two months. However, we started using the Tiscali BB services since 9th August. And the compensation department has been in touch offering compensation for our unfortunate interaction with them!!! One of the letters posted to them and in Tiscali complaints website is followed. This is no different from many of them there…

From
Mrs & Mr S Nair

To
Tiscali Customer Services
PO Box 14505
Birmingham
B46 9BF

This letter has reference to 'new' request(a month back) for Broadband and
Telephone connection. After numerous efforts to get support from Tiscali, we
hereby write to express our serious concern and complaint on the unfortunate
interaction we have had to experience with Tiscali as it does neither solve
my roblem nor try to SUPPORT the customers.

Date of request: 22nd June 2008
Name: Mr S Nair

Customer account number given as: UIDL78GR (on 22nd June)

Status update:

23rd and 24th June
- No email or written communication received from Tiscali.
- Unable to log on to tiscali.co.uk

25th June 2008
- Telephone line started working
- Telephone number as shown on receiver telephone
- Unable to log on to tiscali.co.uk

27th June 2008
- Contacted 0871 2226397 on telephone line update. Customer service said,
"Telephone line is activated and request proceeded to Broadband. Within 5
working days will receive Broadband service. For any more information
contact 0871 222 3311".
Since 30th June 2008 till date (15 July 2008)
- About 10 telephone conversations with 0871 2223311 and 08712226397 In
nutshell: Both party asked to contact the other number.
Various updates during these conversations
-- Technical fault with BB service. Will be ready within 2 days.
-- No order placed, hence re-directed to sales.
-- Can't find broadband request for this telephone line (############)
-- Contact technical support
-- Contact cancellation department and reapply
-- Contact billing department for telephone related inquries!!!
-- Check your telephone number!!

On 15th July 2008 (3 weeks - 16 working days since request)
- No broadband service (Telephone working)
- No email or written communication from Tiscali.
- Unable to log on to tiscali.co.uk
- Unable to order new service from tiscali as an order already exists.

On 16th July 2008
- No broadband service or any feedback/'SUPPORT' from Tiscali
- Mrs Nair contacted Tiscali support and received a response saying this
will be looked into in the next 24 hours
- Mr Nair got a highly unprofessional e-mail from Tiscali indicating that
they don't have the necessary tools to support the customers (We never
realised when we requested for a connection that Tiscali had limitations in
supporting the customers!)
- Also mentioning that concern with 0800 numbers are resolved which
absolutely was not a concern at the moment as it NEVER helped us to get a
solution.
- Again Tiscali Customer Support Team has sent us e-mail saying this will be
resolved by Tiscali Broadband Team in the next 24 hours.

Please see the below for an example on the kind of support we obtained from
Tiscali (from an email to SUPPORT):
On 16th July
Called 0800 1079 000.. directed me to 0845 362 0344 (Tech. Support order
chasing) - 0845 362 0344 asked to contact to 0800 111 210 then back to 0800
107 9000 then to 0845 077 4488 (which eventually hung up without any reason
after making me hold for about 25 min). In between numerous reference asking
to contact the BIG TWO 0871 numbers (...3311 and ...6397). The clock hands
moved from 1:05 pm to 2:40 pm during this really enjoyable activity (which
even included asking me to speak English in English!!). If required, I can
give you a more wider list of numbers I have tried (as advised by your
colleagues worldwide).. So, hereby kindly request you to look into the
problem with bit more professionalism and do what need to solve my issue.
Otherwise, please cancel this order (I am unable to do this myself- tried
that to). Without that I am not even allowed to re-order (since a broadband
order already exists!!). Looking forward for SUPPORT

On 17th July 2008 (today)
- Spoke to a customer adviser (again a 26 minutes conversation) who
said the BB connection will be ready by 24th. The telephone line is only
activated yesterday (16th) and hence the order for broadband will take at
least 5 working days.
- Same time Tiscali Technical Support sent us an e-mail saying this
will be resolved by the Registrations Department or by Tiscali broadband
Services Department.
- Tiscali Support Team has also mentioned in the e-mail that they are
unable to pull our records after all these!!!

On 21st July 2008
- A LONG conversation (54 minutes) on 08712226397 in the morning; we were
informed that engineers were looking into that and based on Case ID
UKHD00001841642 the marker on the phone line (earlier broadband) has been
cleared by BT!! And now the request to BB order is in place.

- We were so happy to receive a call from Tiscali support team (for the
FIRST time in a month, but unfortunately the person on the other end was
asking if we wanted to cancel the order as nothing was happening.

On 22 July 2008
- Contacted 08712223311 and they informed that they cannot pull up any
records for Mr Nair in DL78GR. Sounded strange after ALL THESE. When we
insisted on transferring the call to the centre manager, they didn't listen
to us in the first place. Finally we were transferred to a fellow colleague
who didn't even bother to do any service as he was not even ready to answer
our question. 'are you the manager of the centre?'. This person on the phone
kept on saying, ' We cant help'. Finally they hung up without saying
anything.

- Contacted 08712226397. Spoke to Micheal who informed that it will take
another 2 weeks for the order to be in place. When I insisted on speaking to
his Manager after a long time of pleading we were transferred to his
colleague Jenner who informed that they are waiting for some bulk clearance
and confirmed that they cannot do anything specific to our case eventhough
it has been a month and we experienced a lot of trouble. We have explained
our situation very well and yet again they didn't even care to help. When we
insisted on speaking to her boss, she confirmed that TISCALI has no one
above her to help us in this situation. She finally told us her boss' name
is Mohammed but was not ready to transfer the call to him or give his
contact details!

Also, on request we were given this e-mail address to raise a complaint.
Hope to get a 'productive' response from this atleast. When I told the team
that I was going to report this unfortunate experience with Tiscali services
to press/media they seemed quite happy with it saying a 'ok, thank you for
your call' and hanging up.

On 23rd July
- Havnt heard anything from Tiscali.

Note: During these 4 weeks we felt travelling to various parts of India,
China, Africa etc while speaking to various customer advisors. But the end
result was the same.. Sorry we can't help, contact 0871222.... (the most
expensive of the call rates and minimum connection wait time of 20-25 min).

Unfortunately until now we have not got any productive or professional
approach to get the problem resolved.

We appreciate the idea of different departments and support teams Tiscali
hold to benefit the customers. Unfortunately this adds to the plight of the
customers as the right hand doesn't realise what the left hand does in the
organisation. I am sorry to bother you if this is one of the limitations of
the service provider (being a service which is into the world of
connectivity).

We still HOPE to get some positive and professional response back from
Tiscali and get this sorted.

I hereby attach along the e-mail communciation received from the various
departments of tiscali until now.

Many thanks for your wonderful team and efforts in keeping customers
connected.

Best Regards
Mrs & Mr SreeRaj Nair

Thats the start!

2008-08-28T16:45:00.000-07:00

28th Aug 2008.
Why do I want to blog? I really don’t know..Just now I felt its better than saving word documents in my laptop after I have scribbled something!
So, here I go with my first one.

Simple pleasures, Endless laughs, Crazy day dreams, Unlimited chats, Occasional mood swings, Nostalgic thoughts and much more make my days!!!

Though not into the world of writing, I feel its one of the best ways you can caress your feelings. To dance like no one is watching you, pen down what you want as no one will read it. It feels good…

I start here on one of those less demanding days in office with no clue on where it will take me. There are things in which I lose interest once I have explored it, so I am not sure how blogs will be with me. Sometimes I wish I had (free) Internet access in my trains on my up and down journeys to office which consumes almost 1/12th of my time in a day. I have never appreciated the idea of being lonely in life as I have always grown up with people around. But these train journeys have proved the effect of exclusive time for myself.

I have tried reading in trains; but I can stick to that only if the topic of reading can keep me interested. Mostly the intial ten minutes will be on reading the free Metro from Leeds station. I have lost interest in reading the usual themes on rapists, killers, holiday paparazis and so on though I try to keep me updated with what goes on around. I have tried sudoku’s in trains. If the day had been stressful, I tend to tear off my sudoku rather than erasing and trying out options. However, I keep one handy for my good moods to solve them. One of my colleagues supply me with local magazines to keep me occupied in trains which is so nice of her. When I try to kill time with that I absolutely hate it when people standing stare at the magazines as they have some catching snapshots and stuff.

Occasionally I try to ring my Mums(Mum and Mum-in-law) in the evening trains. But the 3 network sometimes drives me crazy as they have limitations in covering my entire train journey! The same happens when my friend who lives down London rings me for our catch ups (quite frequently though). But, we have tried to manage our times more effectively and manage our chats while we walk or cook; this is simply because I don’t prefer to talk in local language when I am trains as most people would find it annoying. Its sad that both of us can’t manage each other’s mother tongues, the only language we have in common is English. Somehow, I don’t know how annoying it can be to others when I talk in my mother tongue while I am in trains. My perception is that no one understands it and so would not be a problem. Sometimes I may be wrong and this must be something which annoys people more. However, last ten minutes of my journey I continuously challenge the network to get me connected to my hubby baby to check when he would come home. Another hidden intention (interest!!!) is to check if he can pick me up from station even though its less than five minutes of a walk to home from station. He likes it not to be first at home in the evenings. So, he tries to catch me in the evenings if he can.

And yeah, that leaves me with almost 40 minutes again in trains. I have always tried to do my Vishnu Sahasranamam in the mornings. But then, it’s a shame that I doze off in the middle of that. However, I try to do it as much as possible in my conscious mind. And I take a little nap which gets me neck aches when I reach my destination. I should confess that it gets really embarrassing in the mornings when you wake up with your alarm 5 minutes before it reaches Leeds station and you see a number of people looking at you in a funny way (may be I sleep awkward!).

Now that leaves me another 20 minutes to rush to the station now to catch my evening train. If possible I will be trying to pen down something regularly while I am in trains. That again depends on my good will to carry lappy toppy everyday as I tend not to work from home much. That’s it for now, a considerably good start I guess. Cheers!